That's One Thing You'll Never See Me Do! - Lost Awareness, Part 2

In a previous article, we introduced one main reason people block out awareness in a particular area of their life. You're just not quite sure you wanna dredge up that painful stuff all over again.

Today, we'll consider the next. What do you suppose it looks like when you're simply unwilling to consider a change?

You say you want awareness. You say you want to be empowered. You say you want to understand why your life is in a rut, or why you keep on making the same old choices that still don't work.

Yet in the next breath, you are absolutely committed to never changing your behavior. Never ever. For sure. Subject is closed.

• Never going to apologize to your brother-in-law.
• Never going to give up fried food.
• Never going to skip dessert (you deserve it).
• Never going to exercise.
• Never going to work in a call center.
• Never going to admit that "X%*@" might have been right.

Can you see the conflict?

You're placing conditions on your awareness. Let's see how this might play out.

• You want to mend fences with your sister, but refuse to consider that your strained relationship with your brother-in-law (her husband) might be a factor.

"I just don't get it" you say. "How come she won't just get over it?" When the ball is really in your court.

• You want to lose some weight & lower your cholesterol without medication, but refuse to change your diet or exercise.

"I just don't get it" you say. "How come Susie's cholesterol is normal? I guess there's something wrong with me that I just can't lose weight." When it's a simple matter of choosing a baked potato instead of the fries.

• You want to keep your electric service turned on, but the available jobs you qualify for are beneath your dignity.

"I just don't get it," you say. "How come I never have enough money to pay the bills?" When a temporary job could tide you over until you get the fine points worked out on that big break.

Enough examples, huh?

Awareness and change are two separate steps

Here's the conflict. When you say you're looking for awareness, then place rigid conditions on the answer you're willing to receive, you've blocked the awareness. It's no mystery. You're in charge, just like you want to be. And your own conditions have created the block.

But it's completely unnecessary! Awareness does not obligate you to any action at all! Acknowledging the truth is its own step.

Awareness is not the same as change. Knowing and doing are two separate steps.

Insight: It's completely viable to receive awareness
and choose not to act.

Open yourself to the truth

When in doubt, here's the trick. Until you've become crystal clear on what the truth of your situation is, suspend your "rules" about what you are or are not willing to do in order to change it.

Gaining the awareness, even if you choose to do nothing about it, will at the very least put you in a position of power ... a position of choice (and in my book, choice is power).

• You may choose the misunderstanding with your brother-in-law over cleaning up your relationship with your sister. But at least you'll be clear on what's in the way. It's not a mystery. You're not a victim. You're simply unwilling to apologize.
• You may choose the cholesterol medicine and the super-sized pants. But a least you'll be clear about what's in the way. It's not a mystery. You're not a victim. You like fries, feel you deserve dessert after all your hard work, and you don't care to exercise.
• You may choose to sit in the dark rather than get a fill-in job doing something you don't like. But at least you'll be clear about what's in the way...

Remove "I just don't get it" and you open yourself to the truth. You relinquish your right to play the victim. And that's a position of power.

Maybe you'll choose the change, in your time, when you're ready. Maybe you won't. Your choice. You're in the driver's seat. And you're definitely more empowered than you would have been sitting in "I don't know."

Don't just manage your stress — resolve it!