"What can I do to befriend that part of me that undermines my goals (my inner saboteur) and get her on my team?"
Since this is archetypal language, I'll take just a quick moment to get us all on the same page. An archetype is a pattern we can all recognize - like "computer geek," "knight in shining armor," or "a natural mom." We have a relationship with each of these patterns we see in ourselves, yet they don't define us like a state does.
In this reader's case, she's recognized that there's a part of herself, her inner saboteur, that she has a relationship with. She wants to improve the quality of that relationship. Make sense?
First off, recognize that two parts of you want two different things at the same time. Another way of saying this is that you want two things that conflict with one another.
The obvious solution is to resolve the conflict!
In this case, most likely some part of you wants to move forward into some grand adventure or another in your life -- yet another part of you wants to play it safe. That second part is the saboteur.
The saboteur generally things it's doing you a favor by "protecting you from the dangers that lie ahead" if you challenge what you've come to view as your comfort zone. But that can be really frustrating for the other parts of you that want to move forward, ie beyond the comfort zone.
One specific suggestion: have a little coversation with that part of you that tries to hang back. Find out what he/she thinks the threats are. Sometimes these are legit! Don't just blow your saboteur off. He/she is trying to protect you. Find out what his or her (in other words your) perceived threats are and address them.
Some examples:
- If I take that new job, I won't have time with the family like I do now.
- If I lose that weight, I might attract unwanted attention to myself.
- If I'm successful in my business, I might out-earn my friends and have to get new ones.
- If I really put myself into this project 110% and fail, everyone will see what a loser I am. If I don't try, no one will ever know.
Skip back a few days to the post on "Out of my comfort zone" for more tips.
Also, of course, we have all kinds of tools to support you. I'd suggest starting with Word Cures for an introduction. More advanced - the Stress-Buster Kit offers tools for gaining greater insight from your subconscious mind. Coaching products & programs support you in applying what you've learned.
It's as simple as 1, 2, 3.
Elizabeth Eckert can help you explore how simple everyday choices create health — or undermine even the best of intentions. With a background that ranges from energy medicine to structural bodywork to developmental psychology, this "Stick-To-It Coach" has the experience to support you in creating the healthiest possible expression of — you!
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