Several days ago I had the pleasure of spending a few hours in a fine establishment which, as part of its entertainment package, offered patrons the opportunity to ride a mechanical bull. Having nothing better to do for the moment, I watched.
Remember the previous article message or the messenger? Here's another example. The delivery was made by an unlikely messenger, to be sure. But the message came through loud and clear.
After a few moments of watching various riders hop on and fall off, I was siezed with a flash of inspiration.
Here's what I noticed.
Those who hopped up on the bull and passively waited to see how the ride was going to go, for the most part, immediately fell off.
Those who took charge of the ride stayed on. For a while at least. See the operator had control of the speed and if anyone stayed on too long he made sure the challenge increased until he lost 'em.
My immediate insight was that this is exactly the way we learned to "fall" back when I took karate lessons. It was a relative secret that clearly not everyone had caught on to. But when we practiced our throwing drills, the worst possible scenario as the "throwee" was to simply wait for the thrower to pitch you to the ground.
The best possible scenario was to wait until the exact moment at which your demise was inevitable and then throw yourself. You could not control the throw, but you could control your fall - which was, of course, the most important part!
In the case of the mechanical bull riders, they could not control the bull, but they could control the ride. Those who did control the ride found that they had a much better time of things than those who simply waited it out. In fact, one of the riders I saw stay on the longest was a smallish young woman (turns out she was giving chair massages at the establishment that day) who rode full-out with no hands.
But there's more. Do you see the same insight I did? You can't control all the twists and turns life hands you, but you can control what you do with them. Specifically, in answer to the question I was "incubating" at the time, you can't control Google, but you can control how you play with it.
Bonus: Did you catch that? This is how Elizabeth uses the "incubation" strategy we describe in the Ultimate Stress-Buster Kit. This is one way it might look when the answer you're looking for shows up. Who knows, the messenger might just turn out to be a mechanical bull.
How about you? Any "unlikely messenger with a great message" stories you'd like to share? Post a comment!
Elizabeth Eckert can help you explore how simple everyday choices create health — or undermine even the best of intentions. With a background that ranges from energy medicine to structural bodywork to developmental psychology, this "Stick-To-It Coach" has the experience to support you in creating the healthiest possible expression of — you!
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Comments (1)
A friend of mine was having relationship issues with her mother, which is always an on going thing. At the moment, her mother was choosing not to speak to her: classic cold shoulder.
My friend was in a tizzy on 'how to get her mother to talk to her' when her young son said to her:
"Mom, you are happier and more relaxed when Grandma doesn't speak to you. You are not so busy trying to please her instead of yourself. When grandma is NOT talking to you, she ALSO doesn't take up all your time and energy, please listen to me:
YOU ARE HAPPIER AND YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE FUN when grandma isn't calling you all the time about everything.
Let grandma be who she is, you do not have to please her."
It was an "aHHa!!" moment for my friend, she knew she wanted to live her own life, not her mothers. She was worth it, her son was worth it!! She was ready to take ownership of her own life.
Posted by Melanie Deschamp | August 19, 2006 1:21 PM
Posted on August 19, 2006 13:21