"I inherited this back pain from my mother."
Remember the gentleman we spoke about in yesterday's article? The insightful bodywork client who thought to inquire about why his body had come to have the particular postural pattern it had?
Well, there's more. We spoke about learned and inherited traits. You can see how it came about. He was curious about the role heredity plays in body structure. Like I said, he was quite insightful.
Anyway, it was not he who blamed his back pain on his mother, but a young woman. Interesting idea, though. Think about it. Is it reasonable to conclude that you inherited pain from anyone?
You'd think it was from some of the conversations I have. But most aren't as direct as the young lady I quoted at the beginning of this article. Instead, they'll say something like this: "Well, my mother always had back pain so I figured I'd have it one day, too."
Basically, they're living into an imagined scenario of doom.
Not so the insightful gentleman. He was simply curious. Here's how our conversation went.
I agreed that it seems people do have some inherited tendencies when it comes to body structure. I do see parent / child pairs where the structural similarity is obvious. Of course, earlier this week I also saw a mother and her adult daughter who couldn't have been more different. So I wouldn't say that heridity alone is always the deciding factor when it comes to body structure.
But as I explained to the insightful gentleman, I have a bias toward identifying non-inherited characteristics. I actively look for things that could reasonably be explained in some other way.
Why?
Because when something is truly inherited, we have little ability to influence it. We're little more than helpless victims waiting for the axe to fall.
On the other hand, something that could possibly have been learned or developed is within our zone of influence. And my position is that in a healing situation, we want to assert as much influence as possible.
I admit my bias. I'm trying to figure how the person standing in front of me could possibly have influenced the situation he's faced with. Not to blame him for it. How ridicuolus! The influence, if it exists, is usually unintentional. Blame has no place in a healing situation.
Empowerment does. Identifing factors that the person has some measure of control over is a first step toward empowered healing. If he's influenced the situation he's in today, even at an unconsious level, then he can also influence a change for the better. And isn't that what healing is all about?
Isn't that why the person showed up on my doorstep?
I like to think so.
Elizabeth Eckert can help you explore how simple everyday choices create health — or undermine even the best of intentions. With a background that ranges from energy medicine to structural bodywork to developmental psychology, this "Stick-To-It Coach" has the experience to support you in creating the healthiest possible expression of — you!
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Comments (2)
I agree with this highly. Though I may have some pain and have seen my mom with pain all of my life we definitely approach it differently. I am inquisitive to why this is and search out the answers; whereas my mom just complains and wonders why she has to feel so rotten. She doesn't think to do SOMETHING about it. Mind over matter, body over mind - I don't act or believe that I am a victim and because of that I am in a better place now than I was even yesterday.
Posted by Susan | September 11, 2006 8:14 PM
Posted on September 11, 2006 20:14
Thanks, Susan! Sometimes people who don't try to find something to influence in a troubling situation simply don't know an improvement is possible. Of course, that's not always it...
Posted by Elizabeth | September 11, 2006 9:51 PM
Posted on September 11, 2006 21:51