Healthy Living DIY

Quiz time: Over the past couple of weeks, we've had a series of articles about what topic?

Think for a moment and answer the question in your own mind. Then click through and you'll see how I answer it. You'll also see why I wrote the articles from the perspective I did.

And, I'll give you some tips on extracting the same kind of information I just did in this series -- to answer the infinite number of very personal questions that come up in your own life from day to day.

Stress affects your immune system. We've bullied our bully topic considerably over the past few weeks. And still there are a few important points yet to make.

When you, as a human being, are under the influence of a bully, what kind of state does that cause in your body physiology? We've already talked about your being cast in the role of the victim. But let's take it one step further.

What happens in your body?

Our minds can be the world's greatest stress-factories, can't they? Over the years, I've become aware of one particular type of thinking that gets us into trouble with amazing consistency.

The best way I can describe it is "collapsing your categories."

By way of explanation, we'll look at two short examples.

Country singer Keith Urban and I, though we've never met, have something very important in common. We both share the opinion that healthy communication is a key ingredient in creating healthy lives.

Mr. Urban, a Grammy-winning country singer, made what I consider an extremely powerful observation the other day. He's in rehab for substance abuse. And he's got some advice for anyone dealing with addictive behavior.

Communication is grand, isn't it? And since your actions, your state, and your posture often speak for you, sometimes you can get away without actually doing much when it comes to getting your point across.

Other times, it's not so easy. You feel like you're shouting from the rooftops, but it seems nobody's listening. Since there are times when your health -- your very life -- depends on your ability to communicate clearly, we're going to take on one little piece of the puzzle today.

There's a common misconception floating around out there about getting heard. Here it is. When you shout from the rooftops but nobody listens, it's "their" fault for not hearing you.

Too bad it's not true, because in a way, things would be so much easier. You'd never have to work on your message, your congruence, your authority, or your presentation style. You wouldn't have to persist when the going gets rough. You could simply blame "them" for not listening.

But guess what? It's not "their" fault.

"Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right." Henry Ford

Thanks to everyone who stopped by the Holiday Showcase in Minot over the weekend. It was great seeing you! Gonna be near Fargo next weekend? Be sure to find the Wellness Images booth and say "hi."

Do you find the same thing as I do? I learn so much from visiting with people who drop in and out of my life. Today, I thought I'd share a story from one of the people who stopped by my booth yesterday. Hint: It has something to do with the quote at the top of this page!

Several years ago I was a therapist participant in a research study exploring the effectiveness of neuromuscular therapy on chronic severe headaches. One of our participants was a young woman of 23 who'd had unrelenting head pain since she'd hit her head falling out of a wagon at age 5.

Her first session with me produced what was arguably one of the worst therapeutic outcomes I've ever generated in a single therapy session. Yet the new strategy we used during her second session reduced her head pain, by her description, about 50%. It was the first positive change she had seen in 18 years. (During the course of the study, she improved even more.)

What inspired her to come back for that second session? Not just to be physically present, but to arrive relaxed and receptive enough that we were able to turn the tides and produce a positive outcome?

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends & neighbors.

In visiting with folks over the past couple of weeks about their holiday plans, I've noticed a particular theme surface quite a bit. It's this. Despite these folks' looking forward to the holiday, there is often a bit of trepidation about the whole "getting together with family" thing.

People look forward to the time with family, seeing the grandkids, and enjoying the holiday together. At the same time, there's a little concern. Will my sister and I get along? Will mom yell at everyone? How will we handle the in-laws? And a dizzying array of unique "blended family" issues.

What about a quick de-stressing tip to lighten up the day? Or any holiday gathering, for that matter. Let's call it an "appreciation exchange."

Last week, we explored the positive side of expectation. We looked at a situation in which one person expected the best, another expected the worst, and they were both rewarded with the fruits of their belief. Belief is very powerful.

But belief alone is not enough to produce success in life. And that leads us to the darker side of the phenomenon of expectation.

You don't need me to tell you that sometimes, our expectations are not fulfilled. We've all been there. In fact, unfulfilled expectation is at the root of many of our major disappointments in life.

What's the difference, then, between the belief that causes miracles and the misguided expectations that lead to disappointment, anger, frustration, and hopelessness?

Yesterday, we spoke about two big expectation crushers that sometimes get people in trouble in life. What I mean by "in trouble" is stressed, disappointed, angry, and frustrated. Who wants that? Yesterday's news:

Expectation crusher #1: Expecting gain without action.
Expectation crusher #2: Mind reading. Or... He just should know!

Today, we've got two more.

With holiday expectations creeping up the scale once again, it's a great time to consider ways to keep inflated expectations in check.

We're walking a fine line here, of course. You want to hold the possibility open for the best outcome you can imagine -- maybe even more! We spoke last week about the role of positive expectation in achieving desired results.

Yet "fairy tale" expectations with no foothold in reality often contribute to frustration, anger, and disappointment. So far in our series, we've explored 4 common expectation crushers:

Expectation crusher #1: Expecting gain without action.
Expectation crusher #2: Mind reading. Or... He just should know!
Expectation crusher #3: Expecting behavior the person isn't capable of.
Expectation crusher #4: Doing the same thing again and expecting different results.

Today, we'll look at one more biggie.