Healthy Living DIY

Two versions. Choose the one that suits your family and temperament best.

Version 1. Schedule a short bit of quiet time before the event starts. Sit quietly, take some deep breaths, and relax. Some people find that relaxation aids like soaking in a warm tub with some bath salts make it easier to wind down for a process like this, though it's certainly not necessary.

Mentally preview the friends and family members you expect to see at the gathering. For each person on the list, do the following:

• Picture the person in your mind's eye.
• Call to mind something about the person that you appreciate - their kindness to your daughter, their sense of humor, their easygoing nature, their sharp mind ... maybe even their ability to create the perfect salad dressing seemingly out of thin air!
• As you look directly at the person, imagine that you're saying to them something like this: "Frank, I really appreciate your sense of humor! You can lighten up just about any situation ... and it's always tasteful and kind."
• Allow yourself just a moment to feel connected with that person before you move on.

Complete this short exchange with everyone you expect to see at the gathering. Then observe what happens when you get there. If stressed feelings arise, simply direct your attention to the person who's troubled and mentally replay your "appreciation" scenario. Then let it go and enjoy yourself.

Version 2. When you arrive at the gathering, put each friend or family member's name on a small piece of paper and place it in a "hat." Have each person draw names, as if for a gift exchange. Instead of exchanging material gifts, you'll exchange appreciation.

Simply go around the room or the table in order. Each person in turn addresses the person whose name they drew and offers a sentence or two of appreciation.

• Mom, I really appreciate your believing in me all these years.
• Courtney, I appreciate your warmness toward Don's kids. You've really helped them feel at home here.
• Jacob, I appreciate your thoughtfulness toward your friends when your basketball team won the game against them last week. You were pretty excited, but you kept your cool.

Want to have some real fun with this? You don't have to know the person to make this work. You can find something genuine to appreciate about just about anyone - even if you've just met!

One more thing. Follow these two simple guidelines for the best results:

1. Make sure your appreciation is genuine.
2. Spontaneity rules. Don't plan ahead what you're going to say. Just be in the moment and trust that the words you want will be there when you need them.

Ok, enjoy the holiday. Then, when you've had the opportunity to play with this, come back and let us all know what happened. I expect to hear some miracle stories next week!