Healthy Living DIY

Several years ago, I took a weekend seminar at which two of my fellow participants were an estranged couple. I ended up sitting next to the husband, who presented himself as ... well, I won't mince words ... rude and obnoxious. I'm not saying that he as a person was difficult, just that his mood that weekend left a bit to be desired.

Toward the end of the second day, his soon-to-be-ex-wife stood up and shared her view of the situation. She was far more enlightened than he was (so she told us), and unless he came around to match her newly acquired state of higher consciousess, he was going to have to go. Of course, she had dragged him to the seminar "for his own good."

No wonder the poor guy was cranky!

Although the wife hadn't seen it herself yet (she really thought she was helping him), the rest of us began to see the situation much more clearly than we had at first. The wife, in her zeal for sharing her new awareness, had pretty much told her husband he was a complete loser. At least that's how he'd heard it. And he didn't like it much! (Who would?)

If you ask the "other guy" in the situation where one friend takes a step forward in their life, one of his or her biggest fears is going to be getting left behind.

• "Will he still want to hang around with me?"
• "Will she have room for me in her new lifestyle?"
• "What if I'm not ready to make those changes yet myself?"
• "What if it's just too scary or I can't do it? Will he be patient enough to wait for me to get it? Or throw me out like yesterday's leftovers?"

Bottom line is this. If you're changing your life, the friends you bonded with in your "pre-enlightened" days are worried. To complicate matters, they may have fewer resources at hand than you do to help them deal with their concerns. As a result, they may try to sabotage your progress. To judge you. Tell you you've gone loco. And to try and goad you into doing things the "old, comfy (but unworkable) way."

In the end, you may end up drifting apart.

But that's not your only option. There is fertile middle ground between trying to "fix" your friends to your new specifications and giving up on them entirely.

You see, lots of people never give their friends a fair chance. "She'd never go for this new view," they say. "So I'm not going to even bring it up." Based on their experiences from the past, people may pre-judge their friends as being lazy, closed-minded, and hedonistic. "They'd never give up their ______ (fill in the blank), so I'm not going to bother trying."

But you know, that's not necessarily true. Every day, people's lives are enriched beyond measure because a real friend took the time to affirm the possibility of their creating a brighter future.

How to do it? Easy. Help them create a vision of how things could be. Engage them in the possibility that they're strong enough, smart enough, and resourceful enough to pull it off. And then give them the freedom to choose that vision if they desire it.

This is a magical time of year. You have a special opportunity to give the people you hold dear more than just a token gift -- to really empower their view of their own future. As the holiday season comes closer, consider how your contribution could change a life for the better.

You may already have the perfect gift in mind. But in case you're still shopping, here are two of my favorite suggestions from the Word Cures healthy living product line:

1. Encouraging Words Affirmation Cards. Simple, pretty, inspiring, and easy to absorb. Just post your favorite card in a place you'll see it and let the affirmation do its magic.

2. Mini Stress-Buster Gift Set: Word Cures (the book), Encouraging Words Affirmation Cards, and a complete set of our Intuition-Enhancing Bath Salts. Wisdom, support, play, and luxury. In one simple little box.

More on the process of change in our next article. See you then!