"I live with my girlfriend. We live in her house, with her furniture. I'm not quite sure why she stays with me. My car's a junker. It gets me around most of the time, but sometimes it breaks down and I'm stuck riding my bike. My girlfriend's dog barely tolerates me. I really don't have any friends. I've got a good job, but for the life of me, I can't figure out why I got hired."
This was the self-description of a fellow attendee at a personal development seminar I participated in several years ago. He didn't appear angry or frustrated... Simply resigned to what he believed he deserved in life.
The man we'd just listened to went on to explain to the group exactly why he felt his life had taken on the shape it was in right now:
"I'm a loser."
It was all so clear to him.
But enough about him. What about you?
- You want the new job, but deep down you're not sure you're good enough to do it justice. So you accept, and then work 80 hours a week to try and make up for your perceived inadequacy. (Question to ask yourself: How many extra hours will it take to make you happy?)
- You want to buy a nice home for yourself and your family -- to get out of the rented quarters you live in now. But you look in your checkbook and see $1.65 to get you by until payday. The changes you want to make just don't seem possible!
- You want to lose weight so you can safely get off some of the meds your doctor put you on to manage the health consequences of carrying more weight than your frame supports well. But you don't think it's fair that you have to work harder at maintaining a healthy weight than your friends seem to.
- You want your child to grow up to be a happy, healthy, and well-adjusted adult. But you had a falling-out with the baby's father ("You should see what he did to me!") and choose a different father-figure to name on the birth certificate. Surely the baby won't care.
- Add in your own personal dilemma here: ____________
What is it that each of these situations has in common? An unruly belief system is in the way of the result the person says they want to produce.
Participants in our Wellness Coaching program know that I'm forever asking them to "eavesdrop" on the reason they give themselves at the exact moment they choose to act in a way that sabotages their plans.
This is why: that reason holds a clue to the belief system that blocks your progress. Uncover it, and you begin to own the possibility of making a different choice.
Want to learn more about why people develop beliefs that sabotage their progress? Well, I just found a clear and well-written article that discusses that exact topic. It's posted here:
Check it out and let me know what you think!
Elizabeth Eckert can help you explore how simple everyday choices create health — or undermine even the best of intentions. With a background that ranges from energy medicine to structural bodywork to developmental psychology, this "Stick-To-It Coach" has the experience to support you in creating the healthiest possible expression of — you!
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