You may not be surprised to hear that one of the more popular "first projects" among our wellness coaching participants features a weight loss goal. Unfortunately, when stated that way, the goal is rarely achieved.
This article explores what happens when you place your attention on what you want -- or what you don't want. We'll briefly consider why the goal of losing weight so rarely works. And how a simple trick of language can make things ever so much more successful!
It all depends on where you place your attention.
The first thing that our coaching participants do when they begin a project is to identify a primary intention for their project. A primary intention means something that they would like to be or have at the end of the project that they are not or do not have at the outset.
You can see right away that "lose weight" is not something to be or have.
You can see that, can't you?
Setting a goal to "lose weight" is in essence putting your attention on something that you are trying to rid yourself of. Why would you do that? If you want to be rid of something, the last thing you want to do is keep thinking about it -- right?
It's far more effective to focus your attention on what you want. Something that you want to be or have, specifically.
Many years ago, I was feeling a little chunkier that I wanted to be at the moment. Knowing nothing at all about the power of language to create my world, I nonetheless remember the defining moment when I said to myself in no uncertain terms, "I'm going to get in shape no matter what it takes! I'm sick of this!"
Notice how I worded the goal to myself. And tell me if I succeeded or not. No fair scrolling ahead.
(scrolling)
Well, here's what I did. I tried to think like a person who was in shape would think. "What would they do?" I wondered.
After thinking it over, I joined a gym and started an exercise program. I got a couple books on nutrition. And I started reading "Shape Magazine" (or something like it) religiously. I focused my mind continuously on learning what people did to get in shape. All my spare time was spent either at the gym, trying new low-fat recipes, or reading about getting in shape.
Was I successful?
Of course!
Without realizing it, I'd hit on the magic forumla. I'd chosen to focus on what I wanted to be -- which at the time was simply, "in shape."
One of our more successful wellness coaching participants set a goal for herself to be "comfortable in her body." She knew full well that in order to be comfortable, she was going to have to lose some weight. So she did. Simple as that.
Let's say you're a person who has tried unsuccessfully and repeatedly to lose weight. You don't want to be "lose weight." You don't want to have "lose weight." When you repeat your mantra "lose weight," what your mind will hear over and over is "weight, weight, weight." You're focused on weight, and because of it, you're attracting more and more of it to you every moment of the day.
So what is it that you do want to be (or have)?
- light
- thin
- comfortable
- healthy
- fit & toned
- attractive
Work that part out first. Then when you state your goal, whether it's on paper in a formal project plan or in your own mind as you plan your day, focus on what you want. What could be simpler?
Elizabeth Eckert can help you explore how simple everyday choices create health — or undermine even the best of intentions. With a background that ranges from energy medicine to structural bodywork to developmental psychology, this "Stick-To-It Coach" has the experience to support you in creating the healthiest possible expression of — you!
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