Fear. It's one of our biggest "stops" in life. Fear deserves our full attention, at least for a quick moment.
Why?
Because you can get past most fears you can see. It's those seemingly irrational fears that lurk in the background that keep us stuck. It's worth our while to identify fears that may be stopping us in our proverbial tracks.
How many people, when asked what they want, can't wrap their minds around what that might be? For any number of supposed reasons. Doesn't really matter.
The common theme is this:
Because I believe I can't get what I really want, I prefer not to think about it. I've resigned myself to accept what I think I can get.
Now think about it. Does that sound like an empowered vision for your life?
Not to me.
And here's the real irony. How many people are really inspired to give their all to a second or third string vision? Very few. The upshot is you're going for something you really don't want in the first place; because you're not inspired by that vision, you don't pursue it with your full focus and attention; and your failure to achieve a goal you don't even want makes you feel like a loser.
So much so that you'd never consider attempting a goal you do want. "If I can't even do this," so your reasoning goes, "then how would I ever accomplish something bigger?"
There are several factors at work here. We'll briefly uncover just three:
1. Self-efficacy. This is your belief in your ability to accomplish what you set out to accomplish. Your belief in your ability to be effective in life.
2. Commitment. There's a strange phenomenon you may have noticed. Once you really commit yourself to a particular course of action, somehow things just work out. It's that "should I or shouldn't I..." that stalls out success. How committed is anyone going to be when going after a result they really don't want?
3. Knowledge. Because you didn't know how to pursue a large project 15 years ago, you assume it's some personal fault and you can never learn. Because your parents didn't do with money, you assume you never will either. Because all the women in your family were fat, you assume you must be fat, too. And so on.
Well stop the presses! Just because you didn't know how to get that result last year, it doesn't mean you can't learn how to now!
Ok, so say the scenario we've built here rings true. What should the savvy reader do?
Easy:
1. Acknowledge your fear. Tell yourself "thank you for sharing" and look past it to where your real commitment and desire lie waiting.
2. Pick or create a modest goal. Something you really do want and believe you can achieve. Yet just a bit of a stretch outside your usual comfort zone.
3. Get help; a source of fresh knowledge and unwavering support. Whether it's a selection of books or courses, a coach, a support group, or preferably all three, model yourself after someone who has already been down the road you're traveling.
4. Accomplish that first modest goal.
5. Build on your newly-found confidence (greater self-efficacy) by taking on something a little bigger the next time.
6. Continue, step by step, until you fulfill your wildest dreams!
Readers: When have you accomplished a dream you once had thought impossible? What helped you get there? Was there a defining moment when you really knew you'd reach that goal? How did you feel when you'd arrived?
Elizabeth Eckert can help you explore how simple everyday choices create health — or undermine even the best of intentions. With a background that ranges from energy medicine to structural bodywork to developmental psychology, this "Stick-To-It Coach" has the experience to support you in creating the healthiest possible expression of — you!
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