One day last week, I had a really interesting conversation with a client. We were talking about the phenomenon of "taking care of others at the expense of care for yourself."
[Actually, I've had this conversation with several clients lately... That's one reason I know it's such a common thing -- at least among the people I meet.]
"Doesn't have to be a big expensive deal," I said. "Sometimes just sitting down with a cup of tea is a nice thing to do for yourself."
"Oh, I sit plenty," she said. But that wasn't the end of her story.
"Let's see. I'd guess you sit down to rest when you're so tired you can't do anything more. Is that about how it goes?" I asked.
She grinned sheepishly. Looks like I had her number. "Julie" (not her real name) was an old pro. She'd play when the work was done, she said -- or collapse when she'd completely exhausted her resources. Whichever came first.
Problem is the work was never really done. So Julie doesn't play much.
Sound like anyone you know?
If so, try this simple scheme:
- Challenge the myth "must complete all work first, before any fun is allowed." The participants in our wellness coaching program have access to some specific tools for challenging existing beliefs. You might be surprised at what you find at the bottom of this one!
- Schedule "fun breaks" in to your day, week, month, and year. If this is a new idea for you, here's what that might look like for some people:
- two 10-minute "fun breaks" every day
- one 2-hour "fun break" every week
- a full "fun break" day once a month
- and make sure to take your vacation!
- Take your planned breaks, then resume your work schedule. You may find that your energy and motivation are both greater when you do.
Having said all that, I know there are folks out there who stop whenever they feel like they should. Take a nap, walk around the block, play with the dog, or whatever needs doing for their own well-being. Pat on the back to you folks!
There are others who play, play, play at the expense of responsiblities they maybe could be paying a bit more attention to. Hmmm.
And still others who vacillate between all the styles I've just mentioned.
So how are things for you?
Readers: How do you balance work and play? Do you work, work, work, telling yourself you'll do the "fun stuff" after the work's done? Do you play, play, play at the expense of genuine responsibilities?
Have you ever tried switching styles? If so, what was your experience? Was it easy or hard? How did you feel once you'd tried the new style?
Elizabeth Eckert can help you explore how simple everyday choices create health — or undermine even the best of intentions. With a background that ranges from energy medicine to structural bodywork to developmental psychology, this "Stick-To-It Coach" has the experience to support you in creating the healthiest possible expression of — you!
Take our free Less Stress; More Time mini-course!
Comments (2)
I have to agree that for me (and maybe many others) it's sometimes difficult to balance work and play. I love what I do for work, but do notice that as I take time out for more relaxing or playful times the work goes better too. Seems to be all about process and shifting and finding my way to a balanced day. And now, when things sometimes are left undone for an extra day, I can live with it more easily. Ideas about this subject are always helpful and most welcome!!!
Posted by judith greenwood | October 3, 2007 10:22 PM
Posted on October 3, 2007 22:22
I have always thought I needed to have the whole day for fun or forget it. Not sure why. Now I am planning on taking your advice and take even 10 min. fun breakes when ever I have time and if I don't I will make time. Love your suggestions.
Susan
Posted by Susan Adkins | October 8, 2007 1:17 PM
Posted on October 8, 2007 13:17