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You Hurt. Pain.

You Hurt. Second in our series of 7 clues that everyday life may be undermining your health is this common problem. Something hurts.

We may be talking about physical pain. We may be talking about emotional pain. Or perhaps you experience both.

Pain is an obvious signal that something is wrong. It can be tricky, though. Pain is a symptom of the problem, not the problem itself. "Pain the symptom" can be distant from its cause.

And there is the complication! The root cause of a pain problem can be extremely tricky to identify.

Here's a little analogy I sometimes use with my clients:

Imagine you're observing a tug-of-war. One team is winning and the other team is losing big time. Your goal is to balance the sides so both groups can rest comfortably.

Which group is more likely to wave their flag to ask for help -- the guys who are winning or the guys who are losing their grip?

The folks who have the advantage have no reason to ask for help. They're leveraged, seemingly comfortable, "winning." It's the folks who can barely hold on any longer who raise that white flag for assistance. In our analogy, the white flag is your pain.

You follow me that far, right? So here's where it gets tricky.

How are you going to resolve this problem and balance the teams?

Specifically, if a crash course in relaxation techiniques was the solution, which team would you give it to? The guys who are doing their level best and losing the game anyway? Or the bullies?

If the white flag guys get the crash course, they'll relax. The game will be over, all right, but the whole tower will come crashing down. If the fatigued warriors relax too soon, then any hope of balance is lost. Nobody wins.

These guys (the fatigued dudes who are fighting the good fight, but wearing themselves out) represent a compensation strategy in your life. They're compensating for the big bullies who are actually the root cause of the imbalance.

But the exhausted warriors are not the problem. To balance the equation (and make some headway with your pain), you've got to identify and bring peace to the bullies. Only when they stop their incessant pulling can the compensation strategy take a well-deserved break, lessening your pain.

In our analogy, the bullies are everyday life events that ultimately lead down that slippery slope to pain. They're the cause behind the cause; the hurt behind the hurt:

  • the argument with your spouse that left you distracted and vulnerable to that accident

  • the fear that sent your body into a stress reaction that ultimately wore out the joint in your back

  • the childhood tragedy you never made peace with, causing you to exist in the world in a defensive posture

The everyday life bullies that contribute to unwanted pain? They're common events like these:

  • relationship problems
  • work problems
  • financial problems
  • stress
  • unresolved hurt feelings
  • anything that leaves you distracted
  • anything that makes you careless
  • anything that diverts your attention
  • anything that leaves you confused or frustrated
  • and so on.
Regular life stuff that, if untended, leads to physical and emotional pain. Real pain. Anything from a nagging "stress headache" to chronic, disabling diseases like fibromyalgia.

Readers: Think you don't have time to manage the little stuff? Well, maybe it's not about time. Maybe it's about energy. Preview the new Word Cures "Less Stress; More Time" mini-course to get the connection.

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Elizabeth Eckert can help you explore how simple everyday choices create health — or undermine even the best of intentions. With a background that ranges from energy medicine to structural bodywork to developmental psychology, this "Stick-To-It Coach" has the experience to support you in creating the healthiest possible expression of — you!

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Comments (1)

Jeanie Kraft:

This article really put in to perspective all the pain I am feeling. Though I do have fibromyalgia, I am also aware of some unresolved hurt I am experiencing. Though I can't do much about the source of my pain, I can do something with myself. Thanks.

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Elizabeth Eckert, Healthy Living & Wellness Coach

Elizabeth Eckert, PhD

I enjoy observing human nature and helping people get healthier. I'm the author of Word Cures, webmaster of the WordCures.com healthy living website, and an organic vegetable gardener. I hang out in spacious North Dakota with Max, my precocious pup. (more)

About This Article

This page contains a single entry from the Healthy Living DIY blog posted on October 23, 2007 10:59 PM.

The previous post in this blog was Exhausted?.

The next post in this blog is How's That BMI?.

Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

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Note: The information and ideas offered here are personal opinions of a general nature. No opinion posted here constitutes medical advice, either general or personal. If you have a health concern, please consult with your medical doctor and follow his or her advice. The author disclaims responsibility for any misuse or misinterpretation of any opinion posted here.

(c) 2006-08 Elizabeth Eckert


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