Healthy Living DIY

Here's a little analogy I sometimes use with my clients:

Imagine you're observing a tug-of-war. One team is winning and the other team is losing big time. Your goal is to balance the sides so both groups can rest comfortably.

Which group is more likely to wave their flag to ask for help -- the guys who are winning or the guys who are losing their grip?

The folks who have the advantage have no reason to ask for help. They're leveraged, seemingly comfortable, "winning." It's the folks who can barely hold on any longer who raise that white flag for assistance. In our analogy, the white flag is your pain.

You follow me that far, right? So here's where it gets tricky.

How are you going to resolve this problem and balance the teams?

Specifically, if a crash course in relaxation techiniques was the solution, which team would you give it to? The guys who are doing their level best and losing the game anyway? Or the bullies?

If the white flag guys get the crash course, they'll relax. The game will be over, all right, but the whole tower will come crashing down. If the fatigued warriors relax too soon, then any hope of balance is lost. Nobody wins.

These guys (the fatigued dudes who are fighting the good fight, but wearing themselves out) represent a compensation strategy in your life. They're compensating for the big bullies who are actually the root cause of the imbalance.

But the exhausted warriors are not the problem. To balance the equation (and make some headway with your pain), you've got to identify and bring peace to the bullies. Only when they stop their incessant pulling can the compensation strategy take a well-deserved break, lessening your pain.

In our analogy, the bullies are everyday life events that ultimately lead down that slippery slope to pain. They're the cause behind the cause; the hurt behind the hurt:

• the argument with your spouse that left you distracted and vulnerable to that accident


• the fear that sent your body into a stress reaction that ultimately wore out the joint in your back


• the childhood tragedy you never made peace with, causing you to exist in the world in a defensive posture

The everyday life bullies that contribute to unwanted pain? They're common events like these:

• relationship problems
• work problems
• financial problems
• stress
• unresolved hurt feelings
• anything that leaves you distracted
• anything that makes you careless
• anything that diverts your attention
• anything that leaves you confused or frustrated
• and so on.

Readers: Think you don't have time to manage the little stuff? Well, maybe it's not about time. Maybe it's about energy. Preview the new Word Cures "Less Stress; More Time" mini-course to get the connection.

Important: If you're already signed up for the Healthy Living Update, don't sign up again on the mini-course page. On the other hand, if you're new to our community, we welcome you!