It's a new year and, like most everyone, you probably appreciate the fresh start. I know I do.
Isn't it just the grandest feeling to say -- metaphorically at least --
Yeah, baby! And guess what -- that's exactly what your new goal does.
Yet ... enthusiasm alone will rarely carry the day. You and I both know that even though you may have fallen short on a few things in the past, you were doing your best at the time. Being your best "you," and making the best choices you could with the information you had available. Don't we always?
Considering that, it's probably occurred to you that in order to take the shortest path to your heart's desire, accessing new resources might be wise. For many of us, one of the first resources we think of is a book. A self-help book! As the author of several self-help books, of course, I'm thrilled.
Yet I'll be willing to bet that you haven't gotten this far without cracking a self-help book or two already. And here you are. Still moving toward that goal and not quite there yet. While even a poorly-written book can open your mind to a wealth of new ideas, the very cream of the self-help crop is still going to have its limitations. Let's see why.
For one thing, any new information you access is going to be processed by the belief system you have in place at the time you read or hear it. Just this morning I read an article written by marketing guru Dan Kennedy. He asked his readers to consider this question: "Do you act from a belief in infinite resources or finite resources?"
The reader's ability to absorb and use anything else he suggests depends largely on their perspective on that one simple distinction. It's possible to be handed the proverbial "keys to the kingdom" on a single piece of paper and still not understand how to find the "lock."
It's extremely difficult to distinguish a limiting belief unless it's pointed out, as Mr. Kennedy did in today's article. Why? Because you don't think of your beliefs as beliefs. You experience them as "facts" about how things work.
As you read that self-help book, what you take in is your interpretation of what its author thinks, based on the limitations you've unconsciously placed on what is or is not possible. You're reading the author's ideas and examples, thinking, "Wow. That's really interesting." Or even, "Wow. That's really interesting. Too bad it won't work for me because..."
The result is you gain an intellectual appreciation for a strategy that worked for somebody else, but you can't quite figure out how to apply it consistently in your own life. This is not your failure, nor the author's. It's a limitation of the medium, the written word.
There's another option, of course. Find a way to get up close and personal with the person who already has the expertise you seek and get them to show you how to make it work in your life. Like those weight loss experts who come to your kitchen and throw out the junk food you just bought. (What, you didn't know strawberry cheesecake was off limits? It's fruit!)
In today's marketplace, this is known as coaching. A coach supports you as you pick up the new bits of intelligence and work out how to apply them in your own life. Simple as that. Rather than simply gaining an appreciation for how somebody else thinks, you want to start thinking that way yourself. That comes from one thing. Application.
Instead of expecting your softball team to learn how to play by reading a book on the history of the game, you get a coach to watch you bat, throw, catch, and take home plate. The coach can often see what you can't, giving you feedback on how to better your game. Application.
Until you apply the information, you won't learn where your sticking points are. Without some support, you'll most likely get frustrated and quit when you hit the first one.
Read the book, yes. Read several. They'll open your mind to ideas you might never have considered otherwise. But don't stop short of applying what you learn. You deserve the best!
So guess what! It's time to sign up for the WordCures coaching program. Our next session begins January 15th. Learn more here: Wellness Coaching.
Elizabeth Eckert can help you explore how simple everyday choices create health — or undermine even the best of intentions. With a background that ranges from energy medicine to structural bodywork to developmental psychology, this "Stick-To-It Coach" has the experience to support you in creating the healthiest possible expression of — you!
Take our free Less Stress; More Time mini-course!
Comments (1)
I have lived with my depression for years. I've tried pills, but really, the only thing that works is books.
I recently bought this book called I.M.Heart. Since reading this book, I've learned to open my heart, live with less anger (a daily challenge for me) and learn to boost up my self confidence. This book is about feelings – being aware of them, accepting them and working with them. This book really opened my eyes to ways of loving that I had never thought about. Wow, how this book has changed my world.
Posted by Chrissy | January 24, 2008 11:56 PM
Posted on January 24, 2008 23:56