Meet Jane, an average young woman in her late 30's. Jane has two kids, a husband, and a demanding job. She's a great mom, a reliable employee, and a devoted wife. There's really only one place that Jane consistently falls short of her expectations for herself, and that's when it comes to her personal life.
As an example, there's that pile of mail and papers on the kitchen counter. (We'll talk about the pile of mail as though it's for real -- it is -- yet in the privacy of your own mind, feel free to consider it a metaphor for all the other things that Jane is allowing to "pile up" in her life as well.)
As the family comes home for the evening, everyone's rushed and tired. The mail and papers get plopped on the counter on the way in the door. Periodically someone sifts through to pull out the bills, but otherwise it pretty much goes untouched. When the pile gets too big to manage, it moves. To the floor in the home office. To an even bigger pile.
Every time Jane and her family enter their home, you can imagine the first thing they see. The pile. And what's on their collective minds each time they leave? Yep. The pile. Frankly, it's an eyesore. But not only that, the thought of the pile and the thought of home kind of merge in Jane's mind throughout the day. "Home," instead of being a haven, is starting to feel like a lead anchor of work waiting to be done. It's draining.
Metaphor talk: What if it wasn't really a pile of papers, but Jane's relationship with her husband, a nagging health problem, the need to get some exercise, untended home repairs, a creative project Jane "promised" herself she was going to get to one of these days, going back to school, or the plan for her "dream" business start-up? Can you see where we're going with this?
Back to Jane: One day, Jane had enough. "Tonight!" she said on her way out the door to work. "Tonight is the night I conquer the pile!"
But she didn't.
The next day, leaving for work, Jane felt even worse. Not only was the pile still there, but she'd betrayed herself as well. She'd made a fervent promise to herself and failed to keep it. That day, Jane moved a little slower. The day dragged. Jane sat a little lower in her chair that day. She shrank. By the time she got home at night, she was too tired to do the pile.
I suppose it wouldn't surprise you to hear that the pile continued to grow, as did Jane's sense of malaise. The truth is simple. When it came to that pile, Jane was paralyzed.
Can you see how the sense of malaise Jane experienced as a result of her pile-paralysis could begin to affect her health? It takes energy to run a body efficiently. Once that energy begins to drain off into something like "the pile," there's less available to create health.
"The pile" really was not the biggest concern in Jane's life. It was the paralysis that kept her from moving forward on projects to enhance her quality of life, coupled with her own betrayal.
Perhaps you're asking, "Why?"
When it's so simple to just pick up a few papers and pitch them in the garbage, why wouldn't Jane just take the 15 minutes or so and get it over with?
Great question! We'll explore that in our next article.
Elizabeth Eckert can help you explore how simple everyday choices create health — or undermine even the best of intentions. With a background that ranges from energy medicine to structural bodywork to developmental psychology, this "Stick-To-It Coach" has the experience to support you in creating the healthiest possible expression of — you!
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