Healthy Living DIY

Focus on what you want.

Simple, eh?

Sounds like it, but there are two little traps we sometimes fall into instead. So I'm here to re-direct your efforts and help you create that satisfying life you want.

Trap #1: Wording a goal, wish, or desire to reflect what you don't want. This includes goals that never make it to paper, but repeat themselves endlessly in the privacy of your own mind. Here's how to turn it around.

First, notice what you're doing. It's very normal to become aware of aspects of our lives we aren't satisfied with. For instance, noticing that those favorite jeans are getting a little tight, your checking account balance is leaner that you'd like, or you aren't as cozy with your significant other as you'd prefer. Notice those thoughts that come up and make note of them. They are clues.

Next, turn the thing you "don't want" around into a goal that says what you "do want." Here are a few turn-around examples:

Clue: My pants are too tight.
Do want: I'd like to feel comfortable wearing those pants.
Do want: I'd like to feel comfortable wearing pants a size smaller.
Do want: I'd like my significant other to say my tush looks hot in those pants.

Clue: My checking account balance is too low.
Do want: I'd like to have $200 left in my checking account at the end of the month.
Do want: I'd like to live comfortably without worrying about money.
Do want: I'd like to secure my financial future.

Come up with as many "do want's" as you can, because they will really help you focus your goal.

Finally, set some long-term and short-term goals. For the first example, a short-term goal might be to fit comfortably into the pants on hand, while a longer-term goal would be to bump down a size.

Trap #2: Wording a goal, wish, or desire to reflect what you think is required to get what you want rather than what you want itself. Here's how to turn it around.

First, notice what you're doing. Notice the thought that repeats itself and ask yourself the following: "If I make that happen, will my intention or desire be fulfilled?" You may have to play with this a bit to get down to the real "meat" of your intention, but it will be worth it.

Here are a couple examples:

Clue: My pants are too tight. I'd better lose some weight.
Question: Is the loss of weight itself what I really want? No. What I want is to be more attractive to my significant other. We haven't been as close lately as I'd like and I think it's because I've put on a few pounds. Hmm. My goal is really improving my relationship with my significant other. I'll focus on a plan for that.

Clue: My checkbook is too lean. I'd better start looking for a second job.
Question: Is the second job itself what I really want? No. What I want is financial security. I think a second job is the best way to create it, but to be honest, I'd also like more time with my family. Hmm. My goal is really financial security. I'll focus on a plan for that.

Then, of course, you'll need a plan and the accountability to follow it through. But that's the stuff for another day.

For today, spend a few minutes tweaking those goals. The time is right and you're worth it!