Amber is at her wit's end and feeling awful. What a headache! Her boss is driving her nuts! As if that wasn't enough, her job is impossible. Sure things are tight, but how can ONE person (her) reasonably be expected to do THREE people's jobs? Her own, of course. Plus two more that just got cut from her department.
The stress is affecting everything. She has to go in early just to get a jump on the day. Fortunately, her mother-in-law can help out with the kids, but they don't like to take advantage. Things are tense at home in the evenings, too. Amber knows she's not as patient as she used to be. And everyone's getting tired of frozen burritos or chicken nuggets for supper -- even the kids!
Amber, while frustrated, is also pretty sharp. She knows this situation is taking a toll on her family relationships and her own health. She's not sleeping well, nobody is eating right, the muscles in her back and neck are in big knots, and she's taking a lot of aspirin for the headaches. That's giving her a stomach ache. And, well, the situation just isn't good.
"But what can I do?" she thinks. "I'm just stuck in this horrible situation and there's no way out. We need the income from my job. I'll never find anything else with the job market the way it is right now! I just don't have a choice. I've just gotta deal with it."
Let's stop for a minute and breathe. We'll hope Amber does the same. After all, this article is about solutions! (The problems are obvious enough to everyone.)
Now let's brainstorm. Amber, in her stressed-out state, is having a little trouble seeing options for herself. Yet we can see them clearly enough, can't we? "You always have a choice, Amber!" I can hear the cheerleader in you kicking in. Yes, she most certainly does. In fact, a person in Amber's position always has at least three options.
- First, Amber can try and make her current situation better. After those deep breaths, she should be able to think more clearly. If she's stressed by the situation herself, chances are pretty good that her boss is feeling the pressure, too. Why not ask for a meeting to prioritize her tasks? A reasonable boss would understand that Amber is an excellent producer that he doesn't want to lose. Much better to help her manage her workload.
- Assuming that doesn't go well, there is always the option of finding another job. Amber says she "knows she'll never find anything else with the job market as it is," but she hasn't actually looked. There's no such thing as a bad time to find work when you have exactly the combination of skills & characteristics that someone else is looking for. Perhaps she'll enter a different field, or even begin to think like an entrepreneur. There are always options.
- Finally, Amber could choose to do nothing. She'll continue to feel stressed, her health and relationships will continue to suffer, and she'll most likely be miserable. However she does have the right to exercise this option if she wishes. And let's hope she doesn't kid herself that she was "trapped" into it. We can see clearly enough that she's not.
Occasionally, people in a position like Amber's overlook the obvious options and instead get themselves hung up on feeling that it isn't fair they should have to change, when it appears that the "problem" was not their fault to begin with. They'll refuse either of the first two options on principle. Well, that is their right. It is also a recipe for suffering, poor relationships, and ill health.
Life's grandest opportunities come out of situations exactly like the one Amber is in today. You didn't necessarily planto get into the situation in which you find yourself. Yet here you are. If your current situation really isn't working, how could you go wrong by trying something different?
"Listen carefully, Amber," we might want to offer. "Hear the healing guidance. That feeling that something's not right means it's time to choose differently. Listen well, for yourself and your family."
Elizabeth Eckert can help you explore how simple everyday choices create health — or undermine even the best of intentions. With a background that ranges from energy medicine to structural bodywork to developmental psychology, this "Stick-To-It Coach" has the experience to support you in creating the healthiest possible expression of — you!
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