Did you ever have one of those days? What about a whole week of discouraging circumstances? Maybe even longer. Most of us have, and yet some people weather life's inevitable ups and downs more gracefully than others. One of their secrets to grace under pressure is positive self-talk, sometimes known as affirmations. Avoid these 5 little language landmines for greater results.
1. Thinking your "everyday" language doesn't count. You recite your affirmations each morning before heading out to work, and then curse the traffic. You're troubled by the weather, the guy who made your coffee messed up the order, and the boss just dumped a big pile of work on your desk. By the time the clock strikes 8:30, those affirmations have been overruled by a storm of negative thinking.
You have options. If you don't like heavy rush-hour traffic, try leaving for work a little earlier. We can't control the weather, yet there is some measure of beauty and reality in even the harshest of conditions. Weather is real, it's powerful, and presumably you do a good job of keeping yourself protected from imminent danger. As for your boss -- well, surely you're thankful to have a job!
In short, everyday language forms the basis for the energy of your life. It is one of your most powerful natural resources.
2. Stating your desired results in the negative. Ask a little kid what he most wants and he will surely tell you: "A new bike, an iPod, soccer gear, a dog."
Ask an adult and things may get trickier. They'll think about it. Maybe a puzzled look will come over their face. They'll scrunch up their forehead and hesitate. Then, eventually, they'll spit it out: "Well, I don't want to be disrespected by my friends and family."
A kid will naturally tell you what he wants. An adult will often tell you what he doesn't want. It's much easier to fulfill the direct request. The problem-solving & strategizing parts of your being will function more effectively to fulfill a positive statement of what you do want than a negative statement about what's not working.
When you hear a "don't want" circling around in your mind, just make the flip. "I want my friends and family to recognize that my time is as valuable to me as theirs is to them."
3. Self-serving requests. Of course your own self-interest is important. Who besides you is in a better position to see things from your perspective? Yet for ultimate success in life -- and in affirmations -- it's useful to consider solutions that benefit everyone. Not saying you can't have what you want. You can. As long as you want things that also benefit your greater community!
This really is pretty simple. Instead of affirming that you and you alone will hoarde all the gold in the king's coffer, affirm your own secure spot in a healthy and prosperous community.
4. Thinking it's appropriate to affirm choices for someone else. Here's the quick and dirty of this fatal flaw. When you try to change someone else's life for them, your underlying message is that they're not good enough the way they are. Nobody likes hearing that message, and most people don't respond to it well.
Instead, hold the intention that they will be inspired to create their own best life -- whatever that may look like. You can never know where someone else's life direction is coming from. Affirm that the person is in the best position to know their own circumstances, and that you unconditionally support their highest good. Be there for them. But don't try to take over the wheel.
5. Becoming addicted to the "hows" and "whys." You may not know how. You probably don't know why. And yet you can still set a direction -- a trajectory -- for the next stage of your life.
The trajectory strategy, despite its rather scary-sounding language, is pretty simple to manage. You clearly articulate, visualize, and anticipate the result you want. Let's say you picked peace of mind. Don't worry about how it's going to manifest or the obstacles that seem to be in the way. Affirm peace of mind, put yourself in a receptive state, and then wait for the magic!
Elizabeth Eckert can help you explore how simple everyday choices create health — or undermine even the best of intentions. With a background that ranges from energy medicine to structural bodywork to developmental psychology, this "Stick-To-It Coach" has the experience to support you in creating the healthiest possible expression of — you!
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Comments (1)
WHOOOOEEEEEE----- I LOVE THIS ONE!!!! Some of the most important ideas in the world, right here in a short little list!
Reminds me of how you have been known to say: "Change your thinking, change your life." Thanks!
Posted by Judith Greenwood | March 27, 2009 2:36 PM
Posted on March 27, 2009 14:36