Healthy Living DIY

Oh happy day! I turned on my computer this morning and scanned the news headlines, as I've become accustomed to doing. (Yes, I scanned the local paper, too. So I'm a news hog...)

Turns out there was some grand research released recently that tells us something we already new. I love it when that happens!

According to a statement from the Center for Consumer Insights at Yale (notice this study was done by marketing folks, not health folks), people are less likely to seek information about their health status if they believe their condition is untreatable.

"Why would I want to pull up that old painful stuff?" If you recognize this as a real question from a real user of my Ultimate Stress Buster Kit, you're right on.

At my suggestion, she's been working her way through the booklet "Incubate Your Best Solution: How to Answer Perplexing Life Questions by Connecting with Your Inner Voice of Wisdom." And in her feedback to me during our last conversation, she offered up one of the most common reasons that people often block out the wisdom their subconscious mind is literally SHOUTING at them to pay attention to.

In my language now, not hers, she was just a little wary of what was going to be inside the magic envelope she was about to ask for.

Did you get some extra rest last weekend? I know that most everyone has an agenda when it comes to holiday weekends. (This post originated on May 29, 2006. Due to technical difficulties, it's out of order.) This one is generally about paying tribute to our veterans and getting the garden planted. But I hope you saved some time for a few extra zzz's.

How come?

Easy. Everyone wants to lose weight, right? Well in case you missed it, there was a breaking news story last week (I read it on Yahoo! and the teenager in my life saw it on the morning news) that people who don't get enough sleep are more likely to be fat.

It's true!

Everybody's got an opinion on the healthy foods question, I suppose, and since someone just emailed me the question, I'm happy to offer my 2 cents.

Really happy, as it turns out, since contained in the answer is one of my pet peeves!

A number of factors are involved when we talk about healthy food choices. What does the reader mean by "eating naturally"? Since no one food plan seems to work for everyone, let's agree on basics like these:

Which is better, natural medicine or the mainstream approach? Another question that popped into my box last week. Let's make it easy and break this down into two questions.

Q-1. Is natural medicine better than the mainstream approach (Western, conventional, Allopathic)? My answer - no, not always and not for every situation.

Q-2. Is mainstream medicine (Western, conventional, Allopathic) better than the natural approach? My answer - no, not always and not for every situation.

You probably see where I'm going with this already...

Did you ever wonder why your dog won't mind? Maybe it's your posture.

Last night, while over at a friend's house, we watched a couple of episodes of "The Dog Whisperer" on the National Geographic Channel (which I unfortunately don't get at my place).

Cesar Millan, the dog behavior expert, was incredible! It was absolutely fascinating to watch him as he took on the state and posture of the dog behavior he was exploring. He became the dog.

Turkeys? Come on, Elizabeth. What do turkeys have with creating my healthy lifestyle?

Here's the story.

I was out in a friend's yard last evening about 9:30...

With today's entry, we'll begin to bust 10 common healthy living myths. Of course you're smarter than to believe this stuff yourself. These posts are for your friends ;-). (Be sure and share!)

One concern people have with health-enhancing strategies that aren't covered by their health insurance company is that the strategies might be unproven or dangerous. If the strategy was really valid, so the logic goes, it would have been tested, proved, and approved by the powers that be.

I'm certainly not going to suggest that you simply jump headfirst into any goofy-looking health program that comes down the pike. I won't even suggest that you jump in simply on the basis of the explanation making sense (though that may be a good start).

The countdown continues as we bust another Healthy Living myth. (Remember, I know you're smarter than this -- work with me a bit here for the sake of your friends.)

"Good food tastes bad." I suppose you've heard it, and I know I have. Here's the deal. Whole, minimally-processed foods do taste different from the pre-fab substitutes that many of us have switched to, at least occasionally, out of convenience.

Here's the question I really want answered. "Do those pre-fab substitutes really qualify as food?" To find out, I clicked over to my favorite source of technical information - the www.m-w.com online dictionary. According to Webster, here's what it takes for a substance to qualify as food:

Tastes change as we mature. Certain foods that appeal to you as an adult no doubt were on banished from your kid-cool list years ago. Still, the myth about kids not being open to healthy foods is not unrelated to the previous, "Good Food Tastes Bad."

This myth really got my attention a few years ago when someone innocently enough said to me, "Of course kids don't like Chinese food! Everybody knows that!"

I just did a little checking. According to the US Government's World Fact Book (www.cia.gov), ...

This myth is so popular that it occsionally shows up in the syndicated self-help column you'll find in your local newspaper. "I tried therapy. It didn't work. My case is hopeless."

Usually the person is talking about having visited a psychological counselor or social worker who couldn't "make" them forgive a perceived wrong, "make" them stop smoking, or "make" their spouse turn into a different person. Occasionally, you'll hear the same thing from a patient whose doctor or health care practitioner couldn't "make" them healthy.

Sometimes it's tinged with anger. Other times, the person is simply at their wit's end.

Though I think we can all relate to the frustration the person who unintentionally buys into this myth must face (I sure can), it's misplaced. Ultimately, though, the person is in for some extremely good news.

Hey! It's a break from the Top 10 list! For today, just sit back and listen to this awesome recording I came across on the Internet (just 2-1/2 minutes long). It's completely uplifting - and the title "Beautiful Feeling" says it all.

Play "Beautiful Feeling" by Elizabeth Eckert

For those of you who want to learn more about the artist, click on Elizabeth Eckert. Strange coincidence isn't it? Let me be very clear. This Elizabeth Eckert is a supremely talented musician - and she's definitely not me!

Listening to uplifting music like this is another excellent Healthy Living strategy. I recommend doing it as much as possible!

It seems we fall into two camps, we humans. Some of us apply quite a bit of effort toward keeping ourselves healthy, doing what we can to avert future problems. I usually call this strategy, "making yourself an inhospitable host for disease." A simpler was to refer to this group would be "apple a day" people.

Others of us figure differently. "They've got a pill for everything nowadays," you'll hear them say. "So I'll just do what I want." We might refer to this group as "live for the moment" people. Others would call them hedonists, but that's not completely accurate, as I'll explain shortly.

I'll bet you expect I'm going to come right out and tell you that the first group (the apple-eaters) is right and the second is wrong. Guess again!

Another great question! I recently spoke with a gentleman who had been to an acupuncturist a couple of months ago. As he related the details of his first visit, he mentioned something that had puzzled him. The acupuncturist had said his "energy was low."

"What does that mean?" he asked. "And how could she tell?" What really intrigued him is that he had a feeling she was right on.

Let's answer the "how could she tell" part first. It's easier. Here's what I told him:

You know how it goes when you're sick or injured. In the first place, you're not in your most resourceful state. It's hard to think clearly. You may not understand your situation well. And generally, you're scared - about what this problem means for your future, your quality of life, your ability to work and provide for your family - perhaps even your life itself.

When something's seriously wrong, it's natural - and smart - to look for help. Depending on what the problem is and your available resources, you may start with your family doctor, the emergency room, or even another trusted practitioner like your chiropractor.

Presumably, they'll do the best they're able to help you out. But what happens when their best isn't good enough?

Having once done a summer job on a furniture moving crew, I understand the concept of active jobs. If you do something like that for a living, you certainly have a less sedentary lifestyle than your desk-bound contemporaries.

However an active job isn't quite the same thing as a balanced exercise program. A balanced exercise program consists of at least 3 parts.

This healthy living myth is part myth, part truth. Life's a paradox, remember? Let's start with a story.

A number of years ago, I embarked on a little health kick. Part of the program (not all) was cleaning up my diet. I watched a number of things to see the effect they had on my system, and for a short time my choices were limited. Nonetheless, there were a number of tasty dishes I really enjoyed.

I met a friend for lunch at a restaurant that served really great healthy food. It was wonderful!

This myth seems so obviously flawed that a second read of the title should blow its cover. But invariably it won't. People will still be convinced that bad genes cause their chronic disease. Not you, though, if I wager correctly!

Having said that, of course I acknowledge it's true that bad genes can play a part in chronic disease. They can predispose a person to being more vulnerable to a particular chronic disease than the neighbor. Sometimes they are largely responsible.

But even then, things aren't hopeless. Because science has demonstrated that we have some control, at least, over our genes.

It's in the news today. Trauma and tattoos. You may have seen the story as well - a recent trend in which persons who were involved in a recent large-scale natural disaster are having reminders of that event tattooed on their bodies.

The story says it's therapeutic for the survivors - as a way to make a statement about their involvement in the event, perhaps even putting it behind them. For some, the tattoo no doubt is therapeutic. But for others, I'm not so sure.

Yep, it's another paradox.

Some of you may remember that back a few years ago (in the dark ages when newsletters were copied on paper and only delivered to one's local area) I wrote a feature article on my bright idea about no-fault health insurance. I was half kidding.

But half not. See, it came to my attention that people occasionally behave as though there was a pill for every problem (see Healthy Living Myth #6). It occurred to me that not only was this ineffective for the person, but it was most probably driving up the cost of health insurance. (Since I pay this directly out of pocket, as do many of you, I'm quite aware of how the cost of health insurance escalates.)

This great question came in first thing this morning - the very first person to pick up her door prize at the WordCures.com housewarming party!

"I love alternative health options - they have changed my life. I have tried many and continue in this quest for optimum health. The choices are so numerous that I often take a scattered path ... perhaps using many more approaches than necessary... How do I choose the best options? How do I know if the options I choose are working?"

It is a great question, and one I've asked myself. I suppose she and I aren't the only ones, either.

The question is chi: "If it's true that many health problems are caused (or partially caused) by blocked chi, could you explain chi and outline some beneficial ways to unblock chi?"

The answer: sure!

It's quite safe to agree that chi and health are intimately related. When your chi doesn't behave as it should, health is compromised. So while the exact language the reader used isn't the same language that I typically would, it is indeed a very relevant question.

What is chi? This is the Chinese-language term used to refer to what we would commonly call in English "life-force energy." The Japanese call it Ki and in India, it's Prana. You may wonder how it's possible to relate to such a strange-sounding word, but I promise that you know what life-force energy feels like.

This is truly a case of good news being taken a step too far. Of course healthy eating is important. Few people will argue that point. But I’m going to take this moment to speak against placing your major focus on eating healthy foods.

Healthy eating is simply not enough. A recent scientific study, published in the Journal of the American Medical Association (May 3, 2006) will even back me up. Scientists compared two groups of people – equivalent in nearly every way except for where they live.

One group lived in the United States and the other in the United Kingdom. The Brits were healthier. And even “a standard set of risk factors (smoking, drinking, and obesity) do not fully account” for the health differences the researchers found.

It’s easy enough to understand why people latch on to the healthy eating bandwagon so easily. 3 main reasons:

"I've got the insight, but nothing has changed." It was more of a comment than a question, yet the inquiry is clear enough. "What good does it do me to get a bunch of grand insights about my life if my outside world doesn't change as a result? Am I just wasting my time & energy?"

Now for a little background. This question came from someone who's currently working with my stress-buster kit and doing exactly as I suggested. She did her homework, and she did well! We're just not finished yet.

I'm sharing her inquiry mid-stream because it's a great illustration of the process successful people go through as they problem-solve their lives.

Another great question! "I've been working on physical and emotional stuff of one sort of another for years. What happens to the people who don't face up to the challenge and make an effort to heal their lives?"

It's a great question and for once, I'm almost speechless. The answer seems so simple, but it's really not. First of all, I'd like to agree with the reader. From my perspective, it seems that more people wander around in pain than make an effort to resolve it.

You've got to wonder why, when there are so many health-enhancing options around to be explored.

Next question: "Hey Elizabeth. I've been watching for signals around me just like you suggested. Well, guess what? Everything's blue. Could my answer be a color? What does blue mean, anyway?"

This reader is, as she said, doing exactly as I'd suggested. She's involved in an inquiry about a particular aspect of her life. And all of a sudden, she's become very aware of the color blue.

Could "blue" be part of the answer?

What should she do next?

"How do I change a behavior I don't want?" This is one of the most frequent healthy living questions people ask. It shows up over and over among my wellness coaching participants, usually in connection with a specific change the person wants to make. Like these -

• I want to stop evening snacking.
• I want to get to bed earlier in the evening.
• I want to eat smaller portions when dining with friends.
• I want to choose healthier foods when eating in a restaurant.
• I want to exercise more.

Ready? Here we go with a few tips.

When we left off yesterday, we'd introduced two behavior change tips for your healthy lifestyle:

1. Find and resolve conflicts with what you say you want.
2. Word your desired behavior in terms of what you "do want" rather than what you don't.

Now for two more!

Interesting question, isn't it? "What is fun?" I suppose most of us think we should know what fun is, but try to put your finger on it and it turns out to be something like art. At the time of the experience, you know whether you're having a good time or not.

The reader then clarified that she's mostly talking about a situation where friends will suggest an activity, saying something like "come on, it'll be fun" -- and it doesn't turn out to be fun for her. Fun is different for everyone, and our reader wants to understand how to create genuine fun in her life. If you'll pardon the editorial comment, I'll agree this is a powerful goal!

To explore that, we'll look at two pieces that make up the experience of "fun."

"I planned to do * Thing A *. Now my circumstances have changed. I'd still like to do it, but I'm not comfortable with overtaxing my finances. What to do?"

Great question! This one involves at least 3 of the 6 Wellness Opportunities we explore in the "Transform Stress Into Power" guide and develop further in the Ultimate Stress-Buster Kit.

THREE!

What's a person to do?

Hi. No question today. Just a little reminder, as I'm so fond of offering, to take a break and get outside to enjoy the summer.

In North Dakota where I live, it's state fair time. I'm fortunate enough to live in the community where the fair is hosted each year, so it's fairly easy to get in the spirit. But maybe it's something else where you live - concerts in the park (we have those, too), a trip to the lake with friends, symphony garden tour, kids' ball game, playing tourist at a historic site in your area - whatever you please.

So exactly how is this part of your healthy lifestyle?

Wow, this question really says it. "How do I get back the enthusiasm I once had for the project I'm supposed to be working on? In other words, I know I'm not in a productive state. How do I get back to being productive?"

Who among us can't relate to this one? I know I can. It's way too easy to become discouraged or overwhelmed -- especially when it seems we have a lot on our plate or a big challenge looming.

Now I'll tell you a truly inspiring secret. Through the process of formulating this question, the reader told me he figured out the answer himself. :-). Now that's powerful!

Want to hear what he said?

"When changing old behaviors, how do I handle the physical reactions that come up - butterflies, sweaty palms, wanting to vomit, and so on?" Yep, it's another great reader question.

First of all, it's important to realize that these are very normal, common reactions when a person stretches the boundaries of their comfort zone. It's really not necessary, or even desirable, to make them go away entirely.

"But why, Elizabeth? I just hate those feelings! They're uncomfortable!"

If we were running a "most popular question" contest, I'm sure this one would win: "How can I make it easier to follow through on the healthy choices I know I should be making?"

Several people have asked questions along this line, though they haven't all been worded quite this way.

Today's post suggests several tips for making your healthy choices easier to follow through on.

Someone finally asked the big question! Here it is, "What would be your #1 suggestion to someone who needs to lose weight but doesn't seem to have the willpower to stop eating so much?"

Can you relate? Just raise your hand...

There's something ever-so-satisfying about picking lunch from your own garden.

Let me explain.

Here in North Dakota, where I live, people are very in touch with where their food comes from. It's an agricultural community, after all.

But for me, the city kid, this is just waaay cool!

"What can I do to befriend that part of me that undermines my goals (my inner saboteur) and get her on my team?"

Since this is archetypal language, I'll take just a quick moment to get us all on the same page. An archetype is a pattern we can all recognize - like "computer geek," "knight in shining armor," or "a natural mom." We have a relationship with each of these patterns we see in ourselves, yet they don't define us like a state does.

In this reader's case, she's recognized that there's a part of herself, her inner saboteur, that she has a relationship with. She wants to improve the quality of that relationship. Make sense?

After many weekends working recently, most of this one went to the yard. Here's the thing. You gotta balance out your life.

Ok, you know that.

Think of it this way: Yin, yang. Active, sedentary. Thinking, doing. Salt, sugar. Exercise, rest. Ultimately, your life will create the balance for you if you don't do it consciously on your own.

I know I advocate taking action when the time is right.

In this bountiful harvest season, I've been hanging out on the organic gardening forums. They're really hopping, too!

Funny thing. Someone asks about a natural remedy for some problem or another. A bug, pest, or inadequate result. They're generally looking for something to spritz on or till in. Not bad ideas, it seems. But inevitably, someone more experienced chimes in with the "real dirt."

"Amend your soil at the beginning of the season," they'll say. "Work in lots of organic compost and the soil will be fertile. Fertile, healthy soil creates healthy, disease-resistant plants. You won't even need those fixes."

Sound familiar?

"Eat Your Veggies!" Isn't that what your Mom used to say? But there was more. Milk for calcium, meat for protein, fruit to keep you -- well, you know -- lubed. :-)

Researchers tell us that the healthiest diets are primarily plant-based. But yet we might not want to go 100%. It's a bit of an effort to get all your essential nutrients on a full plant-based diet. There are also considerations like what's good for weight loss, availability, and simple preference.

So what's a person to do?

Think flexitarian. Yep, you heard me. Flexitarian.

Message or the messenger? Sometimes you have to choose.

The inspiration for this article came from a conversation I had yesterday with one of my bodywork clients. She's started up a new exercise program. Some of her friends know the instructor.

"Him?" they asked. "Why would you train with him?"

As we talked about the situation for a few moments, she explained.

Several days ago I had the pleasure of spending a few hours in a fine establishment which, as part of its entertainment package, offered patrons the opportunity to ride a mechanical bull. Having nothing better to do for the moment, I watched.

Remember the previous article message or the messenger? Here's another example. The delivery was made by an unlikely messenger, to be sure. But the message came through loud and clear.

After a few moments of watching various riders hop on and fall off, I was siezed with a flash of inspiration.

Canned or fresh - which is better? If you're like most people, you'd probably jump at the chance to vote for fresh. It's common sense, isn't it? But since common sense isn't always accurate, I decided to do a little research.

The purpose behind my search: As you know, I'm the proud mom of Christopher, a delightful 19-year-old feline who also doubles as my receptionist. [One of my clients recently complained that every time he calls for an appointment, Chris answers "NROOOOOW!" :-) ]

Anyway, yesterday on one of the organic gardening forums, someone started a thread about how something in pop-top cans might be contributing to feline thyroid problems (which Chris has) and who knows what else in humans... That started the discussion rolling. Canned or fresh?

Not much of a question, is it? This comment came in the other day. Twice. From two different people.

"I know what I should be doing next. I just don't want to do it."

As you've no doubt observed, one of my most frequent health-promoting suggestions is to get yourself off the fence with respect to the stress-makers in your life. To identify those unanswered questions, come up with creative solutions, and get moving.

To do anything less is a quick recipe for health problems.

One of the biggest sources of stress in your life may be completely hidden. It's there all right, but you can't see it. It's a vague sense of hopelessness. I'm not talking about major depression -- a medical condition you'll want to check out with your doctor.

Rather, a vague sense of hopelessness. Resignation. Apathy. A willingness to accept "facts" about your life that simply aren't so.

• I'm stuck in this dead-end job, but what more can I expect in this town?
• My relationship is stale, but I guess it's the best I can hope for.
• The kids aren't doing as well in school as we'd hoped. I guess they're just slow.
• With everything else going on, I can't find time to exercise. I'll just have to accept being out of shape.

Would a fly on the wall agree with you that each of the statements above is true? Of course not! You're talented, vivacious, smart, and motivated. Sometimes. But lately things have gotten overwhelming. It seems you don't have the energy left to go that extra mile.

Enough beating around the bush. Developing, accessing, and learning to trust your intuition is one of the best things you can do to enhance your health. Bottom line.

There are two ways of receiving this news, by the way. One group of you is saying, "Yeah! Finally she's coming right out and saying what we want to hear!"

The other says, "Oh, geez. Here we go. I'm only interested in hard science."

You're both right. Intuition is vitally important to your health; even so, it has its limitations.

"How do I shut off my mind? It would be nice to get some sleep!"

Have you ever laid awake at night replaying events of the day before? Or trying to plan what's going to happen tomorrow? Most of us have. If so, you'll be able to relate to this reader question.

In the article below, we'll explore 2 short-term tips and one long-term strategy for putting your restless mind at ease -- so you can get some rest!

How much would you give if your life was on the line? Go ahead. Ask the question. What is your life worth?

• 50% effort?
• 60% ?
• 90% ?
• 100% ?

Or maybe even 110% ?

Let me clarify. I'm not asking what effort you give away in the service of others. I'm asking what effort you give when the subject is y-o-u.

How would you like to be able to predict the future? I can. Better yet, I can teach you -- in just one article -- a sneaky trick you can use to predict the future, too.

You can use this trick to predict a certain type of result in life - like how well your child will do in school this year, or how enthusiastic your spouse might be toward helping you with a project around the house, or the type of service you're likely to receive from the waitstaff at your favorite dining establishment.

These types of results become easy to predict, because you can easily influence them to go the way you want. With just a little effort. Through the use of what we'll call "The 4 a's."

It's all in how you look at it. United States Post Office version. Another example of the unusual way in which messages are delivered. [Ok, I know it's not exactly news that the post office might deliver a message, but this one's different!]

My mom's birthday was last week and, in an effort to wish her the best, I sent her a gift. So I thought.

See, by the time I got to the post office on the Saturday before, the customer service area was closed. Now I'm pretty resourceful when it comes to this sort of thing, so I weighed the package, affixed the required postage, and stuck it in the bin.

End of story. So I thought.

Healthy living. It's not just about you, is it? Nope. It's a family affair.

Two headlines today caught my attention - both having to do with family health. That is, depending on who happens to make up your family! ;-)

As you read, consider this basic question. If it's true that each of us models healthy living with our day-to-day behavior, how are we doing? Not you personally. [You're reading this article, right? And other things like it? If so, you're ahead of the pack already!]

Not you, but the culture around us. How are we doing?

Awareness. Deep.

We certainly must agree that awareness is part of good health. After all, if you don't notice challenges and compromises to your system, you're not going to take the necessary steps to rectify them. And that could be very, very bad.

So while awareness isn't everything (what you do with the awareness is important, too!), it sure makes the Top 10 list.

Funny thing is ... it's so easy to just shut it off!

Awareness, remember? We've been talking about it the last couple of days. This is an awareness question that relates to health:

"I didn't change anything. How did this happen?"

The inspiration for today's article comes from a comment I overheard about a favorite plant that had died. And I acknowledge that you might "pick a bone" with me about distinguishing between plant health (which might be considered off-topic to some) and human health.

Never fear. The same comment comes up over and over in my treatment room. Not to mention that the principles behind plant health and human health, holistically speaking, are quite similar.

So whether it's your back or that purple-leaf sand cherry out back, this type of awareness matters.

We've been talking about awareness. Specifically, about increasing it with the goal of enhanced health.

Of course, there are certain things that get in the way of awareness. We've already talked about focus versus distraction. And about how the human quality of adaptability can backfire. And about how easy it is to get in a rut without realizing it.

Well, how about this one? Denial.

Surely you're not in denial, are you?

So here I am, after having written a week's worth of short articles on the value of awareness in maintaining health here on the Healthy Living DIY blog ...

And having written a somewhat longer article about a specific type of lapsed awareness that leaves individuals vulnerable to illness and our nation open to international resentment (read Commitment, Charity, and America-Bashing.)

And I'm listening to a CD set (The Bulletproof Mind) by LtCol Dave Grossman. He's addressing a group of law enforcement officers about how the body responds to extreme stress. And Grossman says, ...

According to the news, our country has just experienced the third fatal school shooting within a week. I know this not because it's on the news show I've been watching, but because it showed up on Yahoo several hours ago.

This raises a few interesting questions.

1. What could possibly be behind such a rash of shootings?
2. Why is the news media relatively uninterested in this last shooting that killed 3 little Amish girls at a school in Pennsylvania?
3. If you were the violent type, why would you pick a bone with the Amish? This one really gets my goat, so to speak, because the Amish themselves are a pretty quiet and peaceful people. They basically farm and mind their own business.
4. How is this a healthy living topic?

So what do you think? I hope you'll comment at the end of this post.

But first, some discussion:

Do you consistently expect your best results? Do you intend them, hope for them, believe yourself entitled to them, or believe you deserve them?

The English language can get complicated, can't it?

Yet while it's obvious to most of us that we draw to us what we expect (the law of attraction we spoke about a short while ago in the healthy living forum), it can be challenging to manage expectation, hope, belief, entitlement, and the sense that we're deserving of what we want.

Let's explore!

Have you ever felt really frustrated about your health situation? A new client had felt poorly for years. Headaches, back problems, neck pain, the works. Now a ray of hope has come into her life. After her first therapy session, she'd felt somewhat better.

Bummer!

And at the beginning of the section session, she told me, "If I am able to develop some kind of holistic wellness here, I'm going to be so angry with myself!"

Angry?

Why?

Before we go any rurther, I want to tell you that this is an extremely motivated and committed client. I expect her to do well. So why the anger?

Who, or what, is the bully in your life? How are you planning to deal with 'im (or her)?

Over the past week or so, one of the discussion groups that I'm a part of has been having quite a go-around about a member's child who's being bullied at school. I should point out that the child is 7 and the bully sounds unusually aggressive. Intervention is in order, and mom is stepping up to the plate big time. So despite the stress of it, this child is in good hands.

However, the whole discussion got me thinking about the role of bullies in our lives.

Did you ever notice that there are certain people a bully won't go near? Whether we're talking about human bullies or selective events (like illness), some people seem to be more vulnerable than others.

* One person attracts partner after partner who berates her. Another attracts none.
* One person is plagued by "unlucky" events. Another seems to live under a cloud of protection
* One person attracts illness after illness. Another attracts none.

And so on.

What's the difference? And how can you be more like the guy behind door #2?

How do you deal with a bully? This is the third article in our series and, since I've been getting some interesting comments back, we'll go a little deeper.

A lot of times people take bully attacks (whether the human kind or the life circumstance kind - like illness, financial trouble, or accidents) personally. They think the bully has it in for them because they are inferior in some way.

Sometimes people also think that the ultimate antidote to being bullied is aggression.

Two very common misconceptions. Are you ready to see things in a new light?

Repeat after me, "When my life is in order, I feel good." One of the surest ways to recognize that things are going well in your life is a sense of peace, fulfillment, and well-being. In other words, feeling good.

Other side of the coin is this.

When you feel less than your best, it's a signal that something in your life needs attention. Sometimes the solution will be simple - like fixing lunch when you're hungry. Other times are "simply perplexing." You don't feel your best and the solution isn't so easy to find.

Where there is a bully, there is a victim. It's how things work. Kind of like peanut butter and jelly!

Nobody wants to be a victim - right?

Well, just yesterday a comment came in from a reader who was perceptive enough to recognize that our culture tends to give victims a lot of attention. And that sometimes people get stuck in a pattern of seeking that attention.

Which means that my assumption above is incorrect. Some people absolutely thrive on staying stuck in the role of the victim. At least they act as though they do. So here we are with another perplexing question.

Where does the personal power lie -- with the bully -- the victim -- or somewhere in between?

One thing we can universally agree on is this. Nobody wants to be bullied (not even bullies!) Nobody wants to have his or her hand forced by circumstances, events or people outside his realm of influence.

Of course it happens.

So here's today's question. When it does - when a person, event, or circumstance arrives in your life that treats you unfairly without your consent - who is responsible for dealing with it? You? Or the Authorities?

In the past several articles, I've made one particular suggestion a number of times. That suggestion was, when faced with a bully, to draw a line of acceptable behavior in the sand. Should that line be crossed and your respect or safety be threatened, walk away.

Regardless of who or what the bully may be -- a kid on the playground, an illness, a co-worker, a soon-to-be-ex-spouse, a limiting belief that holds you hostage -- in order to gain power over it, you must be willing to walk away.

And in order to do that, you'll need to know two little secrets.

I anticipate a couple of problems with the bully thread at this point. We'll take them up in the next two articles.

For today: Finding an elusive bully.

Here's the scenario. You're "stuck" in your life. You're frustrated that you can't get past a particular obstacle. You're discouraged because it seems like no matter what you do in this particular area of your life, you meet failure. Things just aren't working!

So what's really going on here? Are you doomed? Cursed? Stupid? Riddled with bad luck?

Nope. It's our friend the bully. But this time, he's wearing the dreaded shield of invisibility.

Wanna tease him out of his corner? Let's look at what's really going on here.

Great advice, "walk away from the bully." It works, too. Most of the time.

Other times, the bully is literally "in your face" and you can't walk away. This is a much more troubling situation. But it happens.

Let's explore it just a bit. At the very least, you'll have a basis for distinguishing when this is NOT going on -- fortunately most of the time -- and empower yourself to make a healthy choice before things escalate.

Quiz time: Over the past couple of weeks, we've had a series of articles about what topic?

Think for a moment and answer the question in your own mind. Then click through and you'll see how I answer it. You'll also see why I wrote the articles from the perspective I did.

And, I'll give you some tips on extracting the same kind of information I just did in this series -- to answer the infinite number of very personal questions that come up in your own life from day to day.

Stress affects your immune system. We've bullied our bully topic considerably over the past few weeks. And still there are a few important points yet to make.

When you, as a human being, are under the influence of a bully, what kind of state does that cause in your body physiology? We've already talked about your being cast in the role of the victim. But let's take it one step further.

What happens in your body?

Our minds can be the world's greatest stress-factories, can't they? Over the years, I've become aware of one particular type of thinking that gets us into trouble with amazing consistency.

The best way I can describe it is "collapsing your categories."

By way of explanation, we'll look at two short examples.

Communication is grand, isn't it? And since your actions, your state, and your posture often speak for you, sometimes you can get away without actually doing much when it comes to getting your point across.

Other times, it's not so easy. You feel like you're shouting from the rooftops, but it seems nobody's listening. Since there are times when your health -- your very life -- depends on your ability to communicate clearly, we're going to take on one little piece of the puzzle today.

There's a common misconception floating around out there about getting heard. Here it is. When you shout from the rooftops but nobody listens, it's "their" fault for not hearing you.

Too bad it's not true, because in a way, things would be so much easier. You'd never have to work on your message, your congruence, your authority, or your presentation style. You wouldn't have to persist when the going gets rough. You could simply blame "them" for not listening.

But guess what? It's not "their" fault.

"Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right." Henry Ford

Thanks to everyone who stopped by the Holiday Showcase in Minot over the weekend. It was great seeing you! Gonna be near Fargo next weekend? Be sure to find the Wellness Images booth and say "hi."

Do you find the same thing as I do? I learn so much from visiting with people who drop in and out of my life. Today, I thought I'd share a story from one of the people who stopped by my booth yesterday. Hint: It has something to do with the quote at the top of this page!

Several years ago I was a therapist participant in a research study exploring the effectiveness of neuromuscular therapy on chronic severe headaches. One of our participants was a young woman of 23 who'd had unrelenting head pain since she'd hit her head falling out of a wagon at age 5.

Her first session with me produced what was arguably one of the worst therapeutic outcomes I've ever generated in a single therapy session. Yet the new strategy we used during her second session reduced her head pain, by her description, about 50%. It was the first positive change she had seen in 18 years. (During the course of the study, she improved even more.)

What inspired her to come back for that second session? Not just to be physically present, but to arrive relaxed and receptive enough that we were able to turn the tides and produce a positive outcome?

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends & neighbors.

In visiting with folks over the past couple of weeks about their holiday plans, I've noticed a particular theme surface quite a bit. It's this. Despite these folks' looking forward to the holiday, there is often a bit of trepidation about the whole "getting together with family" thing.

People look forward to the time with family, seeing the grandkids, and enjoying the holiday together. At the same time, there's a little concern. Will my sister and I get along? Will mom yell at everyone? How will we handle the in-laws? And a dizzying array of unique "blended family" issues.

What about a quick de-stressing tip to lighten up the day? Or any holiday gathering, for that matter. Let's call it an "appreciation exchange."

Last week, we explored the positive side of expectation. We looked at a situation in which one person expected the best, another expected the worst, and they were both rewarded with the fruits of their belief. Belief is very powerful.

But belief alone is not enough to produce success in life. And that leads us to the darker side of the phenomenon of expectation.

You don't need me to tell you that sometimes, our expectations are not fulfilled. We've all been there. In fact, unfulfilled expectation is at the root of many of our major disappointments in life.

What's the difference, then, between the belief that causes miracles and the misguided expectations that lead to disappointment, anger, frustration, and hopelessness?

Yesterday, we spoke about two big expectation crushers that sometimes get people in trouble in life. What I mean by "in trouble" is stressed, disappointed, angry, and frustrated. Who wants that? Yesterday's news:

Expectation crusher #1: Expecting gain without action.
Expectation crusher #2: Mind reading. Or... He just should know!

Today, we've got two more.

With holiday expectations creeping up the scale once again, it's a great time to consider ways to keep inflated expectations in check.

We're walking a fine line here, of course. You want to hold the possibility open for the best outcome you can imagine -- maybe even more! We spoke last week about the role of positive expectation in achieving desired results.

Yet "fairy tale" expectations with no foothold in reality often contribute to frustration, anger, and disappointment. So far in our series, we've explored 4 common expectation crushers:

Expectation crusher #1: Expecting gain without action.
Expectation crusher #2: Mind reading. Or... He just should know!
Expectation crusher #3: Expecting behavior the person isn't capable of.
Expectation crusher #4: Doing the same thing again and expecting different results.

Today, we'll look at one more biggie.

It seems that the human brain is wired to perceive change as painful. At least that's what I'm told (waiting for the reference -- when it comes, I'll let you know.)

Hard science aside, the perception is sound. Why else would we be faced with the dilemma of
"doing the same thing and expecting different results?" It's got to be a conflict in the area of change.

But is it really a fear of change? After all, if you don't like the results you're getting right now, aren't you actually striving for a change? Perhaps it's not so much a fear of change, then, but something else.

"What am I going to do about my friends?"

When someone begins my Wellness Coaching program, this is one of the first questions they often ask. You see, sometimes people "bond" over unhealthy behavior. So the person taking that first, brave step to unhinge that behavior wants to know how to move their life forward and still deal with their old friends.

• "How can I keep them from sabotaging my progress?"
• "How can I share what I've learned so they can move along, too?"
• "What if they aren't interested -- do I have to drop them from my life?"

They're great questions.

Let's start the answer with a short story about what not to do.

Let's continue our series on creating change in your life. You do want things to go more smoothly, don't you? At least in some area of your life.

Even if 99% of your life is as good as things get, aren't you at least intrigued about upping the ante in that remaining 1%? Most of us are.

Why is it, then, that among a group of people who say they want to take things to the next level, our default position often comes through as "why it won't work." "Couldn't possibly work." "Completely impossible."

Hmmm?

In fact, my experience shows that people actually seek out the slightest little piece to find fault with, so they can feel justified in discarding the whole idea. Even if it's exactly what they're looking for.

Case in point...

So you want to change your life. Or maybe it's life that wants to change you. Either way.

There are two basic ways to go. You can change willingly, or you can try and hold your ground. If you choose option #2, you'll get a neat bonus. A free pass to the School of Hard Knocks.

A number of years ago, I earned my Shodan rank (first degree black belt) in Koei-Kan Karate-Do. Koei-Kan doesn't exist as a "belt mill" or a recreational activity. It's a martial art. Anyone walking around with one of their belts has earned it.

This true story, based two events that occurred as I prepared for my test, illustrates the results of resisting inevitable change just beautifully!

What do you want any day of the year?

If you grew up in a home where scarcity was the rule, perhaps the phrase "you can't have everything you want" rings a bell. If you grew up in a home where it was considered noble to sacrifice your desires, you may recognize the same phrase. Sometimes, I'll even wager it was tinged with "so who do you think you are that you deserve to have what you want?"

If this type of thinking has a place in your past, have you considered lately whether it's affecting your future? Unless you've taken steps to change your thinking, I'd be willing to assert with confidence that your desires are not being met right now.

Why?

Because you're operating from a "rule" that says you can't have what you want -- regardless of what it is! If this is true for you, you may find that it's challenging to even acknowledge what you do want.

(Since you believe that whatever it is will be permanently out of reach, it's less painful to pretend you only want what you already have ... which by definition cannot be what you really want. You can't have that, remember?)

Guess what? No matter what, unless you change that rule, you are virtually guaranteed to sabotage your chances of creating the life you say you desire.

Let's look a little deeper.

Peer pressure. If you've ever been, had, or talked with a kid, you know all about it.

• Your kid surely wouldn't have taken the gum on his own -- but a friend dared him.
• He wouldn't have skipped class, but all his friends were doing it.
• She wouldn't have gone a party where alcohol was served, but the coolest guys were going to be there.

Peer pressure can get us in trouble, no doubt.

But can it ever be a good thing?

You know what it means to eat healthy. You know the health consequences of poor food choices -- from obesity to heart disease to an inefficient immune system. And the beneficial consequences of healthier choices -- more energy, better general health, and a slimmer trimmer you.

If you're the parent of a young child (17 or under), you may think that your nutritional awareness influences what your child eats. And indeed it may. But this month, the Journal of the American Board of Family Medicine published a study that reveals a surprising new twist on that theory.

It may just be that the presence of a child in your home influences you to eat less well than you otherwise would. In other words, your kids may be making you fat.

For our new readers: "Run With The Pack" refers to a group of participants joining up to do Healthy Living projects this winter. And it starts January 15th.

Check it out here: Run With The Pack. If you're interested in creating positive change in your life over the next few months, we'd love to have you join us.

That is, unless you've got one of the following 4 (ok, the 101 part was an exaggeration) great reasons!

Stress and procrastination. What's the connection? If we could figure it out, then we'd have one more way to improve your health. Let's go for it!

When you procrastinate, you end up with a life filled with half-done and un-done tasks. Looking around, you see mountains of paper waiting to be sorted, home improvement projects to be finished, laundry to be folded, grass to be mowed, bills to be paid, and so on. Speaking of bills, you likely pay them late, leading to extra fees. You don't get around to exercising. You put off doctor appointments. And on it goes.

Furthermore, you probably feel guilty about the whole mess!

It's a recipe for stress, wouldn't you say?

Well, how about we look at one (just one) key factor that -- if you could impact it -- would offer a great opportunity for getting a handle on your procrastination? Are you in?

Sometime around the middle of January, winter can start to become a big drag. The holidays are over and it just seems like forever until spring's going to roll around.

Spring. You know, when you get back outdoors again for your favorite fair-weather activities -- gardening, sports, sipping lemonade under a big umbrella, or whatever may tickle your fancy.

But it seems so far away. What to do?

Stress. It's become such a buzz-word in our society that we use it all day without really even thinking about the myriad of meanings we might attach to it.

Not too long ago, a reader wrote in and asked about this. Clearly, he didn't take the term "stress" for granted. Rather, he was curious about where I was coming from and wanted to learn more. Which I greatly appreciate!

In the next few articles, we'll take a quick look at the stress in your life. Today, let's start by identifying what stress means to you. Take this little quiz!

Headaches and Upset Tummies. What might they have in common? Well, for one thing, stress. Just lately I've received reader questions on both these topics. And as luck would have it, I thought of a relevant case history that ties them both together.

Stress. Society uses the word as a catch-all these days. And so, I acknowledge, do I. How you handle stress is all tied up in energy -- and that energy creates your state of health.

My hope is that today's case history will help some of you consider avenues for exploring your own health questions that you may not have considered before.

Remember Clara? We spoke about her yesterday.

• About how she'd had chronic tension-type headaches for years and years.
• About how we'd (the therapy team) done all the usual things to change her posture.
• About how none of those things had gotten the results we wanted.
• And about how she ultimately enjoyed a huge improvement in her condition.

What set her up for a breakthrough? And how can you bring that same kind of breakthrough into your next healthy living project?

Stress and personal conflicts. A few days ago, we began a conversation about What Stress Means to You. The initial question came from a reader who wondered how, in my view, stress and energy medicine come together.

Today, I'd like to explain. We'll start with one of the 6 Wellness Opportunities I introduce to all my Healthy Living Update subscribers in the Transform Stress Into Power guide and expand on in Challenging The Shaman (part of the Ultimate Stress-Buster Kit). Resolve personal conflicts and power struggles.

Specifically, we're going to look at personal conflicts of one specific type. Conflicts within yourself. My opinion and observation is that this type of personal conflict results in more icky results in life than all the other types of stress combined.

Why?

Cut to scene from an average American home -- Tuesday, 7:00 pm: Dinner's finished, kids are fussing about their homework, mom and dad are frazzled. Everybody's stressed from a hectic day. The place is in chaos.

Bring up the sound: "I'm stressed out! I'm not doing anything tonight. Gonna put my feet up on the couch and watch some TV. I've had it!" (Mom talking.)

"Me, too! Time to relax." (complete agreement from Dad).

And so it goes. Stress to relaxation -- right?

Not quite. This isn't relaxation, it's numbness. Once they come to, they'll be just as stressed as they were when they knocked themselves out with the self-medication of the TV set (or Internet browsing, or any other diversion).

They forgot a step.

"You tell me, you're the psychic."

I listened as Caroline Myss told of the comment that inspired her to take her career as a medical intuitive in a different direction. I'll share the story with you in just a moment. But I'll tell you right now that there was more behind Caroline's response to that comment than taking offense at a participant's careless quip.

The comment spoke volumes about the participant's frame of reference toward her own health and healing process. Simply, she was not engaged.

As a practitioner in a health care field myself, a state of engagement is easy to recognize. A person comes in with a particular goal in mind. As we pursue that goal, the engaged person offers feedback, asks questions, and shares relevant bits of their life story. The disengaged person -- figuratively and sometimes even literally -- settles in for a nap.

A short while ago, we explored the healing state of commitment. Today, we'll begin our look at engagement.

... or control an outcome. The participants in any of my wellness coaching activities know I'm big on producing measurable results. But influcencing a result and controlling an outcome are two different bananas. One is possible, the other generally is not.

It's useful to appreciate the difference. I have an excellent, though I'll warn you right now sad, opportunity to illustrate with a situation that just occurred in my own life. I was able to influence a result. But ultimately, I could not control the outcome.

In this article, we'll explore several views on the factors that affect a health outcome -- and then I'll share my story.

Courage. Another essential state for healing.

A short while ago, we began a series of articles exploring different states that are helpful for healing, starting with the state of engagement. Today we'll explore the state we call courage.

The word courage comes from the Latin root word for heart. In today's modern French language, the word "coeur" means heart. When a person acts courageously, we may say that they have a lot of heart.

You might wonder what courage has to do with healing, but it's really simple. One of the main reasons people get in trouble in any area of life (including the area of health and well-being) is that they fall prey to the emotion of fear.

I messed up this week. I guess we all do it once in a while. And I just did. I'm posting the comment here so that ... just to be clear ... you get that I get that in the end, we're all just human.

Someone in my world made a careless mistake. Was it intentionally wasteful and disrespectful? Honestly, I don't know. What I do know is it looked that way to me at the time. And these are, unfortunately, two very sensitive issues for me. The careless actions were essentially "against" nearly everything that I'm "for."

How did I respond?

Next on our tour of healing states is the state of receptivity. We've spoken about this before, yet I look around and see the same old situations over and over. So let's touch on it once again.

It's been said that the most dangerous words in the English language are "I already know that." It's also been said that we don't get ourselves in trouble so much from what we don't know, but from what we don't know we don't know.

Great wisdom in those words!

If you've read my previous post on "What to do when you mess up," you'll know that I recently over-reacted to someone else's careless mistake. At the root of the careless mistake was a lack of receptivity. The person acted as though something was true, when in fact they were way off the mark.

The catch? Despite having absolutely no experience in the life domain in question, the person assumed they knew exactly what needed to be done. Instead of stopping to ask a question or seek guidance, they barged ahead -- and straight into trouble.

I'm sure I've done the same thing at some point. And so, probably, have you. We're human.

Yet ...

"I live with my girlfriend. We live in her house, with her furniture. I'm not quite sure why she stays with me. My car's a junker. It gets me around most of the time, but sometimes it breaks down and I'm stuck riding my bike. My girlfriend's dog barely tolerates me. I really don't have any friends. I've got a good job, but for the life of me, I can't figure out why I got hired."

This was the self-description of a fellow attendee at a personal development seminar I participated in several years ago. He didn't appear angry or frustrated... Simply resigned to what he believed he deserved in life.

The man we'd just listened to went on to explain to the group exactly why he felt his life had taken on the shape it was in right now:

It's seed starting time in my neck of the woods. Just last weekend, the Eckert dining room table became host to several trays of germinating (I hope) seeds. We'll have tomatoes, cukes, and peppers, two kinds of basil, some annual flowers, and presumably a few other things popping up before long. Still others will go in when the soil warms up enough to direct sow.

How about you?

Since we're a healthy living community, we can get into some real nuts and bolts from time to time. And since, as the old adage says, "you are what you eat," why not stop a moment and think about where "you" are coming from?

If you've seen the current Time magazine, you probably noticed that their cover story this week explores just this topic: "Forget organic. Eat local." (What a coincidence!)

During the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, I came home one evening and turned on a cable news show to catch up on the events of the day. There, in full living color, was Dr. Phil. Live from the Houston Astrodome. He'd flown in to see if he could be of some help to the people stranded there.

As Dr. Phil spoke with the news reporter, he answered the question I'd been wondering about myself for several days. He said he'd spoken with a number of people, and had asked many of them the question, "When you heard a category 5 hurricane was headed toward your home, why didn't you leave?"

He received two main answers. For some of the people, the main issue was money. These were the people who lived check to check. The hurricane hit at the end of the month, and they simply couldn't rustle up the extra cash to take their family on the road for an indefinite period of time and pay for it.

We expected that first answer from some. But the other one? Well, you tell me.

You may not be surprised to hear that one of the more popular "first projects" among our wellness coaching participants features a weight loss goal. Unfortunately, when stated that way, the goal is rarely achieved.

This article explores what happens when you place your attention on what you want -- or what you don't want. We'll briefly consider why the goal of losing weight so rarely works. And how a simple trick of language can make things ever so much more successful!

It all depends on where you place your attention.

Sometime within the next 24 hours, we will officially be in spring! Yippee! Spring can't come too soon in my neck of the woods. And, like you, I've got a whole list of spring fix-ups I'm just itching to get to. Starting in the garden.

When you think of spring cleaning, I'll bet you have some of the same images as I do. Pitching clutter, sparkling up windows, moving furniture to clean behind it, picking up sticks in the yard. Mom used to even wash the walls!

So what's the point of all this madness?

Here's how I see it. In order to make room for the abundance of the new active season, we need to remove all the clutter, debris, and dinginess we've somehow accumulated over the winter. Not intentionally, of course. Somehow, each winter it just seems to happen. So we get that big burst of spring energy and start fresh.

It's a lovely health-affirming practice.

What if you were to continue the practice with your mind?

Excuses. Or great reasons? That's where we left off in the previous article.

How do you know the difference?

First of all, we'll look at reasons. A reason explains why you did what you did:

I fixed lunch because I was hungry.
I took a nap because I was tired.
I threw out the leafy green kale because it was spoiled.

Explaining why you did what you did. Simple.

Within the category of reasons is a sub-group we call excuses. Here's what makes excuses special:

In the previous article, we explored the distinction between a reason and an excuse. To review, a reason explains why you took an action. An excuse is a special type of reason that attempts to explain, rationalize, or justify why you did take an action you believe you should not have OR why you didn't take an action you believe you should / could have.

Today, we're going to explore one particular excuse that trips people up in life nearly as often as the 21 you learned to get past in Word Cures: How to Keep Stupid Excuses From Sabotaging Your Health. This one didn't come up in my research for the Word Cures book. For one good reason. While it does affect health (often in a very big way), it is most commonly recognized in the context of another slice of life.

In other words, this one is Brand New!

We're all busy, right? Some of us are busy doing the things we expect will move our lives forward. Others are treading water. Regardless, we all perceive ourselves as busy. Old news. We've talked about busy-ness a gazillion times already.

And yet ... what if there was another way to look at it?

As I read this week's chapter of Rich Dad, Poor Dad (to post on the healthy living book club), one particular idea of Mr. Kiyosaki's really struck me.

(You know Robert Kiyosaki, right? Despite having been ill-prepared by his family of origin for a life of wealth, he nevertheless overcame that barrier by finding a wealth-building mentor to teach him the tricks of the trade. At the ripe old age of 9. Declared himself financially independent -- and retired -- at 47.)

"Arrogant people rarely read or buy tapes. Why should they? They are the center of the universe." (Robert Kiyosaki. Rich Dad, Poor Dad. pg. 169)

Now that's good!

It got me thinking about the three major options we have for allocating discretionary time.

Spring fever is at an all-time pitch. The calendar says it's spring. The sun's shining on my almost-created garden beds. The seeds I started a few weeks ago are looking forward to their new homes. But it's still too cold outside!

What's a backyard gardener to do, but extol the virtues of growing your own food? I hope that by the end of this short article I will have convinced you to consider planting something edible this spring. Even one little plant. How cool would that be?

Here are my top 3 reasons why...

Sleepy? Then you're sure to enjoy this article ... on the up-side and down-side of taking naps!

First the down side. If you've read Word Cures, you've already got my 2 cents on sleeping away your productivity. It's no great secret that people get unbelievably tired in the face of an activity they don't want to do.

Example: You work hard all day. You come home tired. Maybe you enjoyed the workday, or maybe it "drained" you. You keep telling yourself you're going to read that book on investing or get to the gym to exercise or clean up the family room. After work. One day. Honest.

But somehow by the time you get home, well, you know. Zzzzzzz. Now what was I saying? Zzzzzzz. Oh yeah. You're just too tired. Maybe a little nap would help. Zzzzzzz. On second thought, maybe you'd better just save that task until tomorrow. Zzzzzzzz.

Been there?

Sure you have.

But take heart. Napping has another side.

Stress and intuition. The connection is so clear! But apparently not to everyone, as evidenced by the questions and befuddled looks I've been receiving lately about the Intuition Infusion.

So let's explore.

Stress comes from what?

1. Disorder and chaos
2. Overcommitment of personal resources (time, talent, money, energy)
3. Personal conflicts and power struggles, especially self-induced ones
4. Failure to recognize and respond to changing circumstances
5. Failure to keep your word
6. Squelched creativity & self-expression

What do all six of these underlying causes have in common? Hint: it's the context. All six underlying stress-makers occur inside of one common context. Context means the setting, environment, or conditions in which something occurs.

So what is the common context for each of these six occurrences? Let's dig a little deeper and see.

Spirit of Place. One of the first places that comes to mind when I think of a public place with a striking personality is the Joyce Kilmer Memorial Forest, part of the Nantahala National Forest in western North Carolina.

Ever been there? I have, and I'll tell you about it in just a moment. But even if you've never been to that specific place, you've probably been someplace like it.

• Acadia National Park on the Atlantic coast of Maine.
• The native pueblos of the American Southwest.
• Yellowstone Park.
• The wilderness areas of northern Scotland.
• Your local casino or watering hole.
• ...Just to name a few...

What do all those places have in common? Spirit of Place. What the Romans called Genius loci: "the unique, distinctive and cherished aspects of a place," according to Wikipedia.

Spirit of Place changes how you feel. It changes how you are. It's an effortless and automatic way to enhance (or detract from) your quality of life. Which is the reason for this article.

If you're tired of struggling to feel good, you're really going to enjoy this!

You know what you want next in life. You've got a sure-fire plan worked out to bridge the gap between where you are and what you want. Now if you could just get yourself to follow the plan, everything would be wonderful!

Sounds simple enough, doesn't it?

But in life, sometimes simple and easy don't match up. Occasionally, you've got to look at things a whole new way before you'll be willing to take those simple steps. Especially if -- in that particular area of your life -- you're used to making your choices based on feelings.

Now don't get me wrong. Feelings are valuable. They have great protective value in keeping you alive and ticking. And none of us can deny the incentive provided by the promise of warm, fuzzy feelings ahead.

But the people who make most of their choices based on what feels good and comfy in the moment? Those are some of the most unhappy people I know.

Fortunately, there's a clear alternative. The alternative option is practiced regularly by some of the most successful people I know. Which team would you like to be on?

If you side with the successful dudes & dudinas, then keep reading.

This one's science. Honest.

They inject some cute little laboratory animals with the bacteria m. vaccae, commonly found in soil. One group gets it, the other group doesn't.

Then they put the cute little laboratory animals into a stressful situation they have no control over. The cute little animals who got the friendly bacteria first handled the stress better than the ones who didn't.

End of story.

How does this affect you?

If you've participated in one of our Wellness Coaching projects, you know I'm sort of a fiend for planning. Honestly it has a lot to be said for it.

In fact, when you sign up as a first-timer for our Wellness Team, right there in your binder is a CD on project planning. I'll also bug you to ship off a project plan for feedback. Just so we know you're on track.

I'm a planning fanatic!

And for good reason. One of the biggest things I see that keeps people from accomplishing all they could in life is lack of planning. They think about the things they'd do if they ever got around to it. But they get stuck on working out how to pull it off. So I push planning big time.

Yet...

I've also seen people get stuck on the other side of the coin. Don't you just love a good paradox?

Real question asked by the real person, "What's wellness coaching?" Situation: holistic expo in Fargo last weekend. Real person stopped by my booth and struck up a conversation.

The underlying question, though, is this, "What is wellness?"

Once you know how I answer that question, the coaching part is pretty self-explanatory. A running coach helps you tweak your running, a tennis coach helps you tweak your tennis, a wellness coach helps you tweak your welless. Right? Right.

"What is wellness?"

Well, one of the reasons it's such a great question is that there are so many different opinions and answers. In fact, I'd venture that nearly anyone promoting wellness has a slightly different take on it. So it's very smart to ask about theirs before you jump in to their program.

For me, wellness is nearly synonymous with healthy living. It's about consistently making choices you feel good about in every area of your life. To not do that is to slowly, surely, and insideously create frustration, dissatisfaction, stress, and ultimately ill health.

Most people I know would agree with that. And yet, ...

In this second article on the question, "What is wellness?" we'll briefly explore two wellness models you see around a lot today.

One quite popular model shows up all over -- and appears to be particularly often used by various universities. It was developed by Dr. Bill Hettler of the National Wellness Institute (which does not appear to have any government affiliation).

This "Six Dimensional Wellnss Model" focuses on domains of experience. In other words, this model encourages you to look at all the different aspects of your life and assess your wellness in each area. The main idea here is building a well-balanced life.

You're striving for a brand-new result in some very important area of your life. Of course you are! If we didn't set up these little games for ourselves, life would be dull and boring.

Take just a moment to identify what it might be. Just perhaps...

• Beefier organic veggies from your garden; healthier foods than you can get from the store.
• Success at a new business venture; financial freedom.
• Or the ever-popular ... losing weight! (You know I like to call it lightening up, don't you?)

Here's the deal. You already know what you think. The way you think has gotten you to the exact place where you are in your life at this moment. Surrounded by junk food, financially depleted, and possibly a little chunkier than you'd prefer to be.

What you need -- in order to take you to the next level in the area you're focused on -- includes three things. Information, support, and a new way of thinking. Fortunately, those three things are often quite easy to come buy. You can get them, often at no cost whatsoever, from the same place. With an investment of just minutes a day and absolutely no cash outlay, you can transform a whole area of your life.

How?

It's easy. Just...

Responsibility or blame? Hearing vs. listening? Will we ever get it right?

This weekend, I had a great opportunity to eavesdrop in on a conversation about certain principles of organic gardening. They correspond almost perfectly with some principles we work with every day in the holistic health field. We'll explore them in the next article.

But first, I want to make sure you can hear me.

See, over in the gardening conversation, something also happened that's often replicated in our (holistic health) world. Some people confused responsibility with blame. Because they didn't get the distinction, they were confused and offended by the information the person who started the conversation intended to convey.

It's too bad. They listened, but they couldn't hear. Not only did they get their feathers ruffled unnecessarily, but ...

An article in the current issue of Organic Gardening magazine caught my attention. Yes, I'm avidly producing a garden this spring. But that's not the first thing that popped into my mind as I read.

What I found really fascinating is that they were talking about a principle I've considered many times over the years -- in relation to human health. Oooh. This is interesting!

I did a little Internet research, and there it was. The same principle. "The Disease Triangle." Without wandering off onto the little path of "if the gardening people get this, how come the human health paradigm is so slow to pick it up," let's get right down to details!

See, this has really interesting implications, not just in the garden, but for your personal health and well-being.

Healthy environment - healthy you. It's often as simple as that. (The idea's simple at least!)

In our last two articles, we spoke first about looking around your life for areas where you can make a difference in what happens. No point wasting energy in an area where you can't make a dent. But if there's a good chance your action or intent can influence the positive result you desire, then you might as well dive in and get hopping.

Then we went on to explore three aspects of plant health that have interesting implications when we look at our own health and well-being: susceptibility of the host, the presence of a pathogen, and the condition of the environment. Today, we'll delve a little deeper into the mysteries of health and environment, for our plant friends as well as ourselves.

Our goal is to identify areas where our positive action or intent can influence the nearly universal desire to be truly healthy and feel good.

"Where did the time go?"

I've thought it and I'll bet you have too. And doesn't it just seem like summer flies past so much faster than winter does? :-) Of course that's perception. And perception can be shifted.

How would you like your summers to linger on and on? They can, of course, at least in the privacy of your own mind. The trick is simple and extremely inexpensive.

Ready to create your own endless summer?

It isn't really the passing of time that bothers us, you know. After all, aren't we eager for time to hurry up before an event we're excited about? Of course! People even get antsy waiting for retirement -- which if you think about it blows the whole "upset about the passing of time" conversation right out of the water.

It isn't really the passing of time that's the problem. It's the feeling that the time hasn't been used to its fullest advantage.

So let's get our brain cells clicking and use this summer well!

Want to think clearly into old age? Science has just come up with another great reason to address your stress now.

As health care in our society steadily improves, people are getting much more interested in identifying behaviors that can help them really enjoy that ripe old age they're likely to attain. Among the people I speak with day to day, one of their fears about aging is the fear of losing their mental alertness or sharpness.

For good reason. Who wants to spend their later years dottering around confused?

Well, science has good new for us today. Seems a group of scientists at the Salk Institute for Biological Studies has just identified a relationship between chronic everyday stress and the brain degeneration pattern that occurs in Alzheimer's disease.

Happy Independence Day to all of my US readers! One of my most appreciated freedoms living in this country at the present time is the many options we still have regarding where our food comes from. Citizens of many other regions can say the same. We're all fortunate.

I suppose it can't go without saying that food choices are an integral part of anybody's healthy living plan. In fact, if we were to spell out a "gold standard" for healthy food choices, here are the basics that many of us would like to begin with:

1. Eat a variety of foods
2. Produced locally, in the same region you live in
3. Grown in fertile soil
4. With no chemical herbicides or chemical fertilizers involved
5. Freshly harvested or naturally preserved
6. By someone whose lifestyle and growing practices you are familiar with

It's a tall order, but a worthwhile goal to work toward. Most of us won't make that goal tomorrow, but this isn't a black and white issue. If last year you met the "gold standard" goal 10% of the time and this year you make 20%, then you're moving in the right direction.

But what if you're a complete newbie? Someone whose best sense of healthy cooking is a box of Hamburger Helper prepared at home? What if the list I just made comes as a complete surprise? What if you just picked up Kevin Trudeau's "More Natural Cures..." book and heard him say: "Do not eat any food produced or sold by a publicly traded corporation or a "brand name" product?" (Pg. 268)

Where is a motivated newbie supposed to start?

Here are 3 simple tips you can use right now to get moving in a healthier direction:

Healthy choices: Can they be bought? It looks like the City of New York is about to find out.

Just in case you missed it, New York mayor Michael Bloomberg is about to roll out a pilot program that offers cash rewards for making healthy lifestyle choices. You know, holding a job, keeping a doctor appointment, things like that.

The idea is to help people break out of a cycle of setbacks that can lead to continued poverty. It's a worthy goal. Who among us hasn't experienced, at least for a brief moment, that sense of hopeless resignation that our lives are plummeting out of control in a direction we don't like? Wouldn't it be great to have access to a "reset" button at moments like that?

And yet, the program's detractors offer a very interesting argument.

In the last article, I mentioned a trial program by NY Mayor Bloomberg where they plan to offer financial rewards for those making certain healthy lifestyle choices. I had a reservation when I first read about this program, wondering if the promise of modest financial gain would really have any long-term benefit on people's desire for a healthy lifestyle.

[By the way, I've heard about certain health-centric businesses offering large-scale financial benefits for long-term healthy behavior among their employees. Different situation, ok?]

Well, I kept my reservation in the "incubation" zone until I read about some research data that had just come in about similar programs offered to school children. According to the article, the US Federal Government will spend more than $1 billion this year alone on nutrition education.

Just how well can we expect this investment of our tax dollars to pay off?

If we want to choose healthy options, and most of us do...

If we know what those options are, and generally we could figure that out...

Then why don't we do it more frequently? You want to know. I want to know. And so does the United States Department of Agriculture (especially when it comes to healthier food choices).

The USDA did some checking around and figures that most of us believe healthier choices would be good for us. We thrive on books, magazines, and programs offering healthy advice. But according to their research, as a population, we're not consistently acting on what we know.

In their words, "Although we may intend to have a healthy diet, other preferences often beguile us into food choices that may eventually harm our health."

Why? According to a June 2007 article, there are 6 main reasons:

When you think of making healthy choices, what's the first type of choice that comes to mind? If you're like most people, your brain will automatically make a beeline for the section on food.

And that's good. The state of our nutrition has a lot to do with how we feel, plus our energy level, resilience, and general state of health. We know that already. And we've talked about it in the previous three articles.

However...

Making good choices about what to eat simply isn't the whole healthy enchilada!

Perhaps you saw this news a few weeks ago or perhaps not. A major research study published in the July 18, 2007 issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association explores the issue of whether or not certain "best practice dietary recommendations" reduce recurrence of breast cancer or not.

The verdict is in.

If you're at all into the weight loss thing (we call it "lightening up" around here), then I know you're interested in making the most of that feeling of satisfaction that let's you know it's time to stop eating.

If you're at all into enjoying your life to the fullest, then I know you're also into recognizing life's most satisfying moments.

If you're into managing stress well, notice this: satisfaction signals your physiology that it's ok to relax!

Satisfaction can be gained legitimately by identifying those things you really thrive on and bringing more of them into your life. Without the benefit of true satisfaction, many people find themselves doing quick fix after quick fix in an attempt to make up for the emptiness and loss they somehow always seem to feel inside.

How well do you know yourself? Have you taken the time to identify what really pleases you?

Check out these 3 tips for a more satisfying life:

Results. Every day, no matter what we do, they just keep showing up.

Sometimes we like them. Sometimes we don't. But either way, those results just keep pouring in.

Many of you know me as a pretty results-based person. Just like our little friend Yoda, who says, "Try not. Do or do not, there is no try."

It may surprise you to hear me suggest that the results you achieve on any given project or endeavor may not be all that important. But that's what we're up to today. Recoginzing that there is another factor so much more valuable that seeing its truth can render nearly any apparent failure inconsequential.

Here's the cool part. The best way to really identify this other factor is to rack up a huge lack of the results you were looking for. In other words, to bomb out, blow it, or "apparently" fail.

(The only real failure is when you quit. If you've really failed, you won't get this. Might as well go take a nap. However if you've "apparently" failed -- but not given up -- then you're still in the game and I'm talking to you!)

It's true. And that other factor is ...

One day last week, a coaching participant and I were on one of our regularly scheduled calls when she made a particularly enlightened observation! Not unusual for her, by the way. :-) I told her it was likely to show up as an article soon, and today's the day!

Before you read any further (or decide not to), I have a couple of very simple questions for you:

1. Are you completely 100% satisfied with absolutely every area of your life as it is today? So satisfied that you have no further goals or intentions for the future? So satisfied that if things in every area of your life were to continue exactly as they are today for the rest of your life, you would be just delighted?


2. Are you confident enough in the problem-solving skills you have right now that if life were to hand you a big surprise (say, a mudslide wipes out your home), you'd need no further outside input to rebuild the foundation you've set for yourself today?

If so, then here's about how I imagine your life looks:

• Your retirement is fully funded.


• You enjoy perfect health.


• You wake each morning fully rested and excited to meet the new day.


• Your work (and yes, you surely do something) stimulates, interests, and challenges you.


• Your personal relationships are deep and fulfilling.


• You delegate or defer low-priority tasks, and those that are better done by someone else.


• You are supremely skilled at walking that razor's edge between focus on high-priority tasks and opening yourself to new information and feedback.

If this is you, then congratulations! You've probably already had the insight I'm about to reveal.

On the other hand, if there's any little tweak that might better your situation, then you could be very interested in "Jane's" enlightened observation.

Last week, we spoke about busy-ness. One of the most important pieces of healthy living, I believe, is knowing when to stop even your most productive, most virtuous busy-ness and...

Relax!

Which is what I hope you'll consider taking up as your mission on this last "official" weekend of summer 2007. If your friends and relations are surprised by this new twist in your behavior (as you're oh-so-busily collecting Vitamin D with your feet up on a lawn chair), tell 'em you're just following the sensible healthy living guidelines recommended by your wellness coach!

Here's to a blissful & carefree weekend!

Perspective. This topic came up in a coaching session just last week. Then it came up again on a gardening forum I participate in. Well, that started me thinking. My friend the fly sometimes gets misunderstood. He's such a helpful guy, too! Maybe it would be good to spend some time getting aquainted...

If I had to look back over my entire education in energy medicine, both the book learning and most especially the experiential part, there is one distinction that without question made the biggest impact on my learning process -- and on my own personal health. It was the process of gaining an appreciation for the health-enhancing value of learning to choose perspective on the events of a person's life.

Understanding the value of perspective with respect to health can be a challenge to grasp. It's even more of a challenge to apply. In my case (maybe I'm slow), it took several years of really reaching for the brass ring, aided by a long string of mostly-compassionate, patient teachers gently and not-so-gently nudging me along one little step at a time. We will only be able to just scratch the surface in a short article such as this one.

Before we go any further, I'd like to make one thing very clear. I am not "for," do not advocate, and do not condone any of the following:

• Rape
• Murder
• Marital infidelity
• Robbery
• Coersion
• Gang or Mob involvement
• Rudeness
• Insensitivity to another person's values or culture
• Invalidating another person's essence or being
• Abusive neglect
• Unprovoked personal or group attack
• Acts of terrorism
• Or any other action or practice that causes or enhances unnecessary human suffering.

I also do not know why parents sometimes have to bury their children or grandchildren, why natural disasters strike, why innocent children get cancer, or the "why" behind other occurrences of that nature.

What I do know is that whether or not I like it, with or without my approval, all of these things happen. They happen to us, us humans. And until or unless we can gain a measure of control over our emotions in the aftermath, actions or events like these can control -- even ruin -- our lives. In addition to rendering us incapable of productive activity -- sometimes for many years, they can cause us to lose focus while driving (causing accidents), disable our immune systems (leaving us open to disease), and cause bodily pain and discomfort (sometimes to the point of complete disability). I have seen all of these things occur.

For me, this matter of perception and empowerment is the single most preventable cause of human suffering that I can impact. I know it is possible to gain control over those emotions and reclaim our lives.

In this process, our ally is the humble fly.

"I can't do what I said I was going to do because of my low self-esteem."

Occasionally someone says this right out. But more often, their belief is hiding between the lines -- in the message behind the words the person actually uses. Nonetheless, this belief is out there and it's out there big.

The person really, truly believes that if he (or she, but let's just stick with he for now) were to miraculously be granted a higher dose of self-esteem, he would begin making better choices on his own behalf. That other people would begin to treat him differently. That his whole life would turn around!

I apologize right now for my frankness. But I have beat around the bush with this fallacy long enough. It's time to be very, very clear. If you have a Word Cures book, take it out right now and turn to page 123. Re-read the chapter. You'll see how it applies here.

The person is right about a couple of things. The potential is there for other people to treat him better, for him to treat himself better, and for his whole life to turn around. It's true! And, yes, it's hooked in to his self-esteem. But not in the way he thinks.

Here's the thing.

He can re-build his self-esteem himself. So can you. And I'm going to tell you how to do it right now.

Who has extra time these days? Nobody, of course. Anyone who can't find enough to do in this 24/7 society is a very rare duck.

In fact, a good number of us appear chronically overwhelmed and overscheduled. If you ask what's going on, most will tell you, "I just don't have enough time!"

I don't think lack of time is the real issue, though. We all have access to time in equal quantity. Yet it's fair to say that if you look around, people use the time they have very differently.

Some people juggle kids, jobs, school, meetings, work-outs, and healthy meals with apparent ease. Others struggle to drag out of bed to the office and back.

What's the difference? Hint: it isn't time.

Have you ever been stuck ... really stuck ... for the solution to a problem? Someplace in your life where creativity and originality would really make a difference? Like these:

• What to get that special someone for Christmas.
• The best title for your new book.
• The best subject for your new book.
• How to dramatically increase your income.
• How to keep your tomatoes from freezing overnight when it gets cold.
• Inventing the lightbulb. (Wait ... someone did that already. And it might just help with your tomato problem.)
• What's in the way of healing your back pain.
• What's in the way of healing any other symptom that bothers you.
• And so on...

When you're stuck for a solution, and I think it happens to each of us occasionally, then you'll want to tap into your intuitive mind. You may not have thought about this before, but your mind provides ready access to both intuitive and logical thinking. Logical thinking is great when you're trying to balance your checkbook or remember how to defrag your C: drive.

But it's a terrible hindrance when it comes to problem-solving!

One day last week, I had a really interesting conversation with a client. We were talking about the phenomenon of "taking care of others at the expense of care for yourself."

[Actually, I've had this conversation with several clients lately... That's one reason I know it's such a common thing -- at least among the people I meet.]

"Doesn't have to be a big expensive deal," I said. "Sometimes just sitting down with a cup of tea is a nice thing to do for yourself."

"Oh, I sit plenty," she said. But that wasn't the end of her story.

Fear. It's one of our biggest "stops" in life. Fear deserves our full attention, at least for a quick moment.

Why?

Because you can get past most fears you can see. It's those seemingly irrational fears that lurk in the background that keep us stuck. It's worth our while to identify fears that may be stopping us in our proverbial tracks.

How many people, when asked what they want, can't wrap their minds around what that might be? For any number of supposed reasons. Doesn't really matter.

The common theme is this:

Because I believe I can't get what I really want, I prefer not to think about it. I've resigned myself to accept what I think I can get.

Now think about it. Does that sound like an empowered vision for your life?

Exhausted? We're about to explore 7 signs that everyday life could be undermining your health. They'll be brief. And we'd might as well start with the most obvious.

Sign #1: You're tired, exhausted, drained.

This sign is so obvious that you may have noticed it briefly, then tried to ignore it. You figure it'll go away, you'll feel better tomorrow, the sun will come out. Or you figure there's nothing to be done about it, so why bother?

But here's why it's worth your while to bother. When you feel exhausted, it means that your energy is literally draining out of your body. Life-force energy. Vitality. Aliveness.

Enhancing life-force energy brings more aliveness and vitality into your experience here. Allowing it to run down the drain simply isn't a good idea! It leaves you vulnerable to all kinds of opportunistic conditions and situations you'd surely rather avoid.

You Hurt. Second in our series of 7 clues that everyday life may be undermining your health is this common problem. Something hurts.

We may be talking about physical pain. We may be talking about emotional pain. Or perhaps you experience both.

Pain is an obvious signal that something is wrong. It can be tricky, though. Pain is a symptom of the problem, not the problem itself. "Pain the symptom" can be distant from its cause.

And there is the complication! The root cause of a pain problem can be extremely tricky to identify.

What's in a BMI? It's short for Body Mass Index, a measure of the relationship between your weight and your height. And it just happens to be the 3rd in our series of 7 little hints that everyday life may be undermining your health: "Your Body Mass Index is above or below the normal range for your height."

We're not talking about a self esteem issue here. I sincerely hope you have accepted yourself as a worthwhile person regardless of your various physical characteristics -- height, weight, hair color, and so on. However unlike being a little taller or shorter than average, unlike being the single blonde in a sea of brunettes -- being above or significantly below the normal weight for your height can impact your vulnerability to disease.

Heart disease, some cancers, sleep disorders, stroke, diabetes, and arthritis have all been linked to maintaining too high a body mass. When you carry around those extra pounds, you stress your joints as well as your heart. Maintaining a regular exercise program becomes much more difficult. The hormonal make-up of your body changes (fat tissue leads to excess estrogen and also is linked with inflammation, a precursor to disease). Further, the lack of physical conditioning that often comes with overweight makes you a vulnerable mark for becoming the victim of violent crime -- you simply don't have what it takes to run away.

Despite the well-publicized effects of our nation's obesity epidemic, people sometimes overlook the obvious when the subject is very personal (i.e. when it's about them). Let's interject a little real-life story so you can get what I mean.

Ever notice the person who looks "young" for their age? You know they're an adult, but beyond that is anyone's guess.

From the stories they tell, you gather they were around "when." Yet when you think back to how many years ago "when" was, you about have to do a double take. The person simply doesn't look old enough to have been present for the story they just told.

You've probably met people like that, and so have I.

And then there are the others. You know. The ones who tell you "I was born in the early 60's" and you thought they were ten years older. Oooh. Regretfully, this second group is the subject of sign #4 that everyday life could be undermining your health: "You look or feel "old" for your age."

Another sign that things are going right in your world (# 5 of 7 signs in our series) is that you easily resist getting sick. Everyone around you can be coughing and hacking, yet your immune system is up to the task of keeping you healthy. It's a good thing!

On the other hand, if you're the person who gets every little bug, listen up. This means something. One of the things it means is that your immune system isn't doing as good a job for you as you might like.

Now sometimes people figure, well, who cares? It's too much trouble to do the things I'd need to do to make a change. I can deal with a cold once in a while. And you probably can. But what about the bigger guns -- cancer for instance? Let's think about this some more.

Who's in the driver's seat of your life? Today's article marks the completion (for now) of our series on clues that everyday life might be undermining your health. If you've been counting, I originally announced 7 signs and today's article is the 6th. Let's just keep the last one a secret for now and focus on today, ok?

So who's in the driver's seat of your life, anyway? If you are a normal, healthy adult and your answer to this question is anyone other than you, then listen up. Chances are you think of yourself as being more at the effect of others than at the wheel yourself. Another way to put this is that...

Awareness and everyday life. We've just completed a series of 6 short articles on different signs that everyday life may be undermining your health. Today, we'll tie all six signs together under one heading: awareness.

Why would I have written a series of articles identifying 6 things that, when they aren't going well in a person's life, should be obvious signs that something's off? Well...

Healthy Paradoxes. What's a paradox but a statement (in this case a pair of statements) that appears to contradict itself. Check out this pair:

When it comes to creating health, it's all about the food; When it comes to creating health, food is secondary to what goes on in your mind.

The paradox is that both parts have some truth.

I just returned from the Acres USA Eco-Farming conference. It was awesome! So at the moment, I'm way into maximizing the nutritional value of what we eat -- after all, those were the conference sessions I attended.

I think it's fairly safe to say that the average "Joe" really can't create optimal health without doing something proactive to get the best nutrients into his body that he can find. Think about it. One guy lives on cardboard white bread and candy bars and the other guy loves leafy greens, squash, and blueberries. Who's gonna have the better building blocks?

And yet...

It's another healthy paradox! Remember from last time that a paradox is a statement (or pair of statements) that appears to conflict with itself.

Today's paradox is this one: Feelings are at the same time your best friend and your worst saboteur. On the one hand, they can alert you to subtleties of your environment and your experience that you'd most likely never notice in any other way.

In his book The Feeling of What Happens, Dr. Antonio DaMasio says that feelings "are poised at the very threshold that separates being from knowing.” As you go through the rest of this day, notice how many times you become aware of something important as a result of a feeling:

• I feel chilly: maybe the furnace went out.


• I feel exhausted: I've really let myself get over-committed.


• I feel restless: things aren't going well on the job.


• I feel alarmed: we're in immediate danger.

Feelings are often the first signal that something's slightly amiss. Pay attention, and we often have the opportunity to react quickly to prevent trouble. Ignore your feelings, and it could very literally cost you your life.

And yet ...

I hope y'all had a really great holiday. In fact, I hope it was perfect!

Which brings us around to another healthy paradox. Perfection.

Ironic, isn't it, that many of us see our supposed faults all too clearly. Too short, too tall. Too blonde, too brunette. Too talented at one thing, not talented enough at the other. Too yin, too yang. Too lax, too ... well, perhaps too perfectionistic!

And yet when someone else points out one of those very self-same supposed shortcomings, we'll fight to the death to convince them (and ourselves) that it doesn't exist. Funny!

Try this on for size: The truth is you are perfect. Furthermore, everyone you know is perfect! Now there's some food for thought!

Happy New Year! This is the time of year you'll see a bunch of "Top 10" lists for how to improve your life in the new year. Well, I object. How can you stay focused on ten things? Instead, my suggestion is this:

Pick one.

Sure, you can do other things throughout the year. Of course you will. But keep your focus narrow and you can achieve spectacular results!

Of course, you'll want to focus on your most important objective. Think you already know what it is? Don't be too sure. Try this simple exercise before you decide.

It's a new year and, like most everyone, you probably appreciate the fresh start. I know I do.

Isn't it just the grandest feeling to say -- metaphorically at least --

Yeah, baby! And guess what -- that's exactly what your new goal does.

Yet ... enthusiasm alone will rarely carry the day. You and I both know that even though you may have fallen short on a few things in the past, you were doing your best at the time. Being your best "you," and making the best choices you could with the information you had available. Don't we always?

Considering that, it's probably occurred to you that in order to take the shortest path to your heart's desire, accessing new resources might be wise. For many of us, one of the first resources we think of is a book. A self-help book! As the author of several self-help books, of course, I'm thrilled.

Yet I'll be willing to bet that you haven't gotten this far without cracking a self-help book or two already. And here you are. Still moving toward that goal and not quite there yet. While even a poorly-written book can open your mind to a wealth of new ideas, the very cream of the self-help crop is still going to have its limitations. Let's see why.

In case you missed yesterday's announcement, you can sign up now for the Word Cures coaching group that begins January 15th.

Top 10 Reasons to join the Word Cures coaching group:

1. You're feeling the stress in your life ... from "something" that nags in the back of your mind. Like you "could" be putting action behind it, yet it never seems to get done. For example:

2. You want to get in shape. This is the #1 most popular reason people get involved. One of my favorite revelations among participants with this goal is that ... sometimes ... it's not about the food. In fact, one person created a project plan to include more fun in her life and ended up "losing" 17 pounds. (Ok, that was in the plan, too.)

Sign up here.

3. To tweak your home environment. Our #2 most popular project plan has got to be cleaning up the house. Some people de-clutter and others re-cecorate. My favorite story here is the woman who told her sister she was going to re-do the whole house in just 3 months. "Right," her sister said, rolling her eyes. According to this participant, the look on her sister's face was priceless when she saw they'd (she and her husband worked as a team) actually pulled it off!

Do you Squidoo?

I just posted my very first Squidoo lens. (Sound like a proud beginner?) Check it out and get 4 Tips for accessing your inner wisdom now:

http://www.squidoo.com/intuitivebrainstorming

(Why? To answer your own deepest questions and create a more meaningful, satisfying life!)

If you've ever had one stressed-out day too many (and who hasn't?), you know what it feels like to crave a break.

No worries. That break might be just what the doctor ordered. Better yet, you could bring home a life-changing insight.

We've got all the ammo you need to convince your boss (or yourself) that your vacation plans are absolutely brilliant! Check out my new Travel Insights lens on Squidoo.

Symptoms, symptoms everywhere! But what do they mean? Lately, this topic has come up a lot with some of the people I've been talking with. How about you? Got any puzzling symptoms in your life? What do you make of them?

I usually figure it this way. A symptom shows up in your life. It could be anything you don't like: pain, illness, relationship concerns, financial issues, etc. Often, that symptom is a signal to stop and assess. To look back a step or two and see what the set-up was. What environment produced that symptom. So as to effect a deeper "cure."

Pretty easy to follow this far, isn't it? But unfortunately, here's where things get tricky.

Often, your symptom is like a "road closed" sign. It's as though there's a bridge out ahead and you have a choice to make. Do you stop dead in your tracks, get out of the car, and manually re-build the bridge to take your same familiar route for the next leg of this journey? Or do you divert and take a different road?

Resolve Stress: my next Squidoo page.

http://www.squidoo.com/resolvestress

You've probably noticed by now that I'm not so big on "stress management." Might as well take care of the problem and be done with it, I always say. So here's where I go into that a bit deeper. Complete with tips!

The Resolve Stress lens has some cool interactive modules. Check it out and play around!

One thing that looks really interesting to me is the book list, where you can move your personal favorites up or down on the list. See, if a bunch of people start doing that, we'll come up with a "community favorite" list. Won't that be fun? So come on, check it out!

http://www.squidoo.com/resolvestress

It's been a flurry of writing and editing around here this week. I've just today posted a new article on the main Word Cures website. It discusses healthy living, Word Cures style.

You see, I've realized I use that phrase a lot. But so do lots of other people. And I'm not altogether sure we mean the same things.

Healthy Living, Word Cures style, isn't so much about factors like food choices and exercise habits as it is inclusive of them. In a nutshell, it means consistently making everyday choices that serve your best interests.

Discover a couple of common pitfalls and some options to resolve them. Read the full article here: What is healthy living?

At the end of the article, you'll also find a handy Quick Link list to some other cool healthy living stuff you can get involved with on the web.

Manifesting Abundance. Strange topic for a healthy living article? Not the way I see it.

Abundance can occur in any area of your life: abundant health, abundant relationships, abundant finances (the area most people probably thought of first), or abundant ... well, you name it! So the way I see it, abundance is good for health.

Imagine my delight, then, to have found a web page that explores -- in quite a bit of detail -- the "scientific logic" behind the process of manifesting abundance. I hope you'll find it as interesting as I did.

Bookmarks have been on my mind lately for several reasons. Turns out that both literally and metaphorically, they can save you (and me) a lot of time. And in the process, help us become more efficient, creating time and energy to spend on all that fun stuff we say we want to do!

Starting at the practical-yet-mundane level, there's the computer bookmark. You know, those virtual systems that have sprung up in the last couple of years to allow you to save favorite articles for reference rather than having to print them out. Saves on physical clutter.

(Raise your hand if you're in favor of less clutter!)

I'm talking about those little icons you'll find at the end of each of these blog posts, as well as elsewhere around the web. Like del.icio.us, furl and Digg.

Now even as we speak, it turns out I'm having computer issues. Seems my trusted friend latched onto something the anti-virus and anti-spyware software couldn't beat. So I've been marginally concerned about preserving the data stored on my hard drive. But guess what? I haven't had to worry about losing my bookmarked articles. They're stored somewhere else!

Cool, huh?

Then there's the "feeling" bookmark. This came out of a conversation I had just yesterday with one of this quarter's wellness coaching participants.

In honor of good St. Valentine, let's explore heart energy and its value in creating health. From the perspective of energy medicine, heart energy is the center of your universe. Your heart connects the physical "doing" parts of you with the mental "thinking" parts of you.

The heart, as you perhaps already know, is related to the expression of love. You can love other people, your pets, the environment, or even a cause you're deeply committed to. You can receive love from as many sources. One excellent way of validating a decision or choice has to do with a palpable feeling around your heart center -- when your inner wisdom leads you to a self-affirming choice, you may actually feel your heart soften.

Dr. Dean Ornish, who some years ago made medical headlines by developing a program to reverse heart disease, was very well aware of this phenomenon. While he first publicized the now-obvious physical changes he encouraged in his patients (things like eating more vegetables, getting some exercise, and not smoking), he later came "clean" with another amazing revelation.

In his book, Love and Survival (1998), Dr. Ornish says that one day he was reflecting on the well-accepted fact that heart patients tend to be more hard-driving than the rest of the population -- to the point of hostility. And he had the insight to ask himself, "I wonder what makes them so hostile?"